When I first read this story I hadn't seen NCIS at all, and I absolutely hate Stargate: Atlantis (I'm a devoted fan of Stargate: SG-1 and I think Atlantis drained resources that could have been used to much better effect in this galaxy); even so, your story held my interest.
I have now had a chance to see several seasons of NCIS and your story impresses me even more. Your Ziva is much better than the one on the show. Cote de Pablo is absolutely hopeless at portraying an Israeli whereas you do it very well.
The only flaw is your occasional misuse of words. Most annoying is your habit of using 'lightening' for 'lightning'. 'Lightening' means becoming paler in shade, or lighter in weight (you would lighten hair by bleaching it or lighten a hot-air balloon by throwing out ballast bags) whereas 'lightning' is the discharge of huge voltages of electricity between the clouds and the ground.
no subject
I have now had a chance to see several seasons of NCIS and your story impresses me even more. Your Ziva is much better than the one on the show. Cote de Pablo is absolutely hopeless at portraying an Israeli whereas you do it very well.
The only flaw is your occasional misuse of words. Most annoying is your habit of using 'lightening' for 'lightning'. 'Lightening' means becoming paler in shade, or lighter in weight (you would lighten hair by bleaching it or lighten a hot-air balloon by throwing out ballast bags) whereas 'lightning' is the discharge of huge voltages of electricity between the clouds and the ground.