Drabbles: Illusion (AB), Better Now (FF)

[mhalachai]

As a follow-up to yesterday's drabble, I present Judith's side of the story. It's about as depressing as you can imagine, the missed chances. I'm going to go have a good cry now.

Title: Illusion (A follow-up to Card)
Fandom: Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter (master list here)
Characters: Judith, Anita
fanfic100 Prompt: 99 -- Writer's Choice
Word Count: 200
Disclaimer: Laurell K. Hamilton owns all things Anita Blake. Only the story is my own.
Rating: G
Note: Set immediately before Card. Judith thinks about her nine-year-old stepdaughter, Anita, on Mother's Day. (Just assume that Paul is Anita's father's name)

~~*~~

It was Mother's Day, the second since Judith had married Paul, and she didn't know how she was going to survive it.

When she had accepted Paul's marriage proposal, two years after his first wife's unfortunate death, she had been so excited. Andrea would finally have a sister, and she'd have another daughter, little Anita.

That delusion hadn't lasted long. Andrea started showing off immediately. Judith knew it was because she was scared of the new situation, but Anita didn't react well to her new step-sister. At all. She'd withdrawn immediately, pulled back from her father, becoming secretive, sullen.

No, not sullen, Judith corrected. There was a strange stillness about the girl some days, something Judith couldn't explain. It was almost frightening.

Then the stillness left, and Anita went back to being her tiny, quiet self.

Any way Judith looked at it, there was no way Anita would let Judith into her heart.

Overhead, two sets of footsteps pounded down the stairs as Judith came to a decision. She'd tried for two years, putting herself out there and having every advance refused. Maybe it was time to give up the illusion of having another daughter. She'd never be Anita's mother.

~~*~~

And while I'm at it, my first offering for firefly100.

Title: Better Now
Fandom: Firefly
Character: River
Word Count: 100
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon et al. own all things Firefly. Only the story is my own.
Rating: G
Note: Set after the BDM, no real spoilers.

~~*~~

River was better now.

People came and went, with whispering eyes and dancing tongues, and River alone remained untouched.

She heard things, strange things, from all the people Serenity touched. Their secrets wandered through her head, like she wandered through the ship, never getting too close. If one touches the fire, it burns, and all her secrets would burn like ash up to heaven.

Simon worried when she tried to explain, so she stopped, stopped talking, stopped dancing, stopped everything. She hoarded her secrets to her breast like a lover, waiting to be left alone.

Secrets never left her alone.

Comments

[uforeah.livejournal.com]

See I don't know if that clears up Judith's thoughts for me or makes them worse. Because on one hand you see where she is coming from but on the other, did she really try or did she just stand there and hope?
Because little Anita is going thru hell in her head and did Juduth ever just walk into her room look at her and say "I know I am not your mom, I could never be, I don't want to replace her but I do want to love you and I would like it if you loved me to. I know it will take time but I think it is worth it. I am here for you if you need me." Because that's what my step mom did and it freed me to love her as well as my real mom.

I know, I am putting way to much thought into fictional characters but it just makes me wonder. And what I saw of Judith in this one makes me think that she just didn't tell Anita where she was coming from, but expected her to come to her.

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

I see what you mean about Judith's motivation, but from what we've read of Judith in the books, she didn't seem to be that interested in understanding Anita. It seems like she just gave up on Anita at some point. Your stepmother made the effort of dealing with a child; whereas the drift I get from the books is Judith was too busy with Andrea and later Josh to devote a lot of time to Anita. Poor kid.

So yes, I'm not sure if I clear things up here or vilify Judith more, myself.

[practical-puss.livejournal.com]

I think that your views on Judith depend on what you think is an excusable level of self absorption. I think she should have made a greater effort than what we can see in the books. If she didn't actively reach out to Anita, as it seems, she's... not a bad person, but you can make a case for a pretty bad mother figure. You can't reasonably expect a kid that age to take the first step.
And I firmly believe that if you marry someone with kids, you had damn well better make an effort. Doesn't matter if you love them, if you're not willing to try with the kid(s) don't get married.
Maybe that's one of the reasons I like Edward so much.

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

I think that your views on Judith depend on what you think is an excusable level of self absorption

Exactly. Her problem here, from what I'm gathering off about five sentences of screen time in the books, is she was too intent on herself and her kid (and later Josh) to try and crack that shell Anita put up around herself. Then the latent necromancy kicked in and probably terrified Judith (and maybe gave her another reason to not try and get close to Anita).

And I firmly believe that if you marry someone with kids, you had damn well better make an effort

Testify.

And it's scary, isn't it, that *Edward* would make a better step-parent than Judith.

[deepfishy.livejournal.com]

Ow. Ow. Ow-ow-ow. Goodbad mhal for making me cry!

Have you ever heard the song Mr Tanner (http://www.harrychapin.com/music/tanner.shtml) by Harry Chapin (same guy who wrote "Cat's in the Cradle")? I get a similar emotional feeling from that song as I get from both of these stories - missed opportunities and crushed dreams. Those themes always get me. *wibble*

[practical-puss.livejournal.com]

Awww. :sad: Poor Mr. Tanner. Mean New York...

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I had that sort of feel in mind when I wrote these. It tied my stomach into knots and I hated it. (That's why I wrote my fluffy Anita/Nathaniel fluff, to cheer myself up.)

[(Anonymous)]

Oh no! Judith came so close to getting the family she dreamed of but she gave up! Some things are worth never giving up on, despite the pain that may come from failing. Of course, this could go for Anita too, but Judith was the adult.

[alydhe.livejournal.com]

Sorry, that was me! I didn't realize that I wasn't logged in.

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

Oh no! Judith came so close to getting the family she dreamed of but she gave up! Some things are worth never giving up on, despite the pain that may come from failing. Of course, this could go for Anita too, but Judith was the adult.

I think that would explain some of the anger that Anita feels toward Judith; Anita hates that she had to be the grown-up with her father (after word of her mother's death), and with her powers, and all of it. She has Issues that need to be addressed, at the root, but by now she's built up so many layers of defence around herself, it'd be all but impossible.

[catherinecookmn.livejournal.com]

((((hug))))

[ansku]

Again with the 'ouch' :) You write some touching pieces...

[houses7177.livejournal.com]

Really enjoying these looks into Anita's childhood with Judith. Fascinating dynamic all around, and I can well imagine that Judith wasn't too interested in really connecting with Anita once the necromacy kicked in.

And poor River. Secrets make for poisonous bedfellows. Someone should let her know.