FIC: Inevitable 32: Hold the Line

[mhalachai]

As per your request:

Inevitable 32: Hold the Line is up!

At TTH
At Pomme de Sang
At Skyehawke

Please, all comments are welcome. We're beginning to go in a new direction in the fic. Let me know what you think!

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

One grammar error noted:

Box Fairy had come in the middle of the night and exploded. He'd had vanished so quickly.

This chapter was very interesting. It seems like the story's gearing up for another deluge of events. The narration said that the crew was feeling subdued, and the actions and dialogue showed that; It's amzing to see authors minimalize words for greater impact and oumph. I enjoyed how you linked the last sentence of this chapter to the previous chapter and, by doing so, pushed home what was bothering Harry all day.

On another note, HARRY IS GOING TO BE RAISING THE DEAD? WHEN DID HE TRY BEFORE? <"Now that's just not true," I contradicted. "You helped me with that zombie the other day." > What chapter was that? I remember Harry accompanying Anita to the office, but when did he help with the actual raising? Now I'll have to scan through the chapters to find it...*groan*.

E.A.V.

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the note, I'll go back and fix that.

I never said Harry was going to be raising Zombies. I said Anita was going to teach Harry some magic. And when Anita said "helped" with the zombie, it was more like Harry stood around and took up space while Anita did all the work (in chapter 20). She was just trying to make him feel useful. Sorry if I made it seem he was all zombielicious.

Thanks for your comment about the subduedness. And yes, more action at some point soon. :D

[(Anonymous)]

"Would you mind starting on zombies tonight?" I asked. "We can start small, only a few."

This was the line that suggested to me that Harry would be raising zombies, or he'll learn the underlying technique, try a few times, fail and apply the learning to another area of magic.

Yay for action, but we musn't forget the family down time. I just love the word "musn't."

E.A.V.

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

Ah, I see what you mean. And your second interpretation is more along the right lines :)