FIC: Inevitable 32: Hold the Line

[mhalachai]

As per your request:

Inevitable 32: Hold the Line is up!

At TTH
At Pomme de Sang
At Skyehawke

Please, all comments are welcome. We're beginning to go in a new direction in the fic. Let me know what you think!

Comments

[deepfishy.livejournal.com]

*very* interesting...and I can see why you were having trouble controlling angst!Harry when you wrote this. His life sucks.

At that moment, I knew I'd be okay.
It was such a relief to read that, and know that Anita's finally bounced back :)

I like where this is going, and when you finish all the other updates you want to write, I'll be looking forward to the next chapter.

And, Harry's room looked like the Box Fairy had come in the middle of the night and exploded. Hee!

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Yeah, Harry's still a teenager whose life is uberangsty, with good reason. I figure he's allowed to feel put-upon ocassionally. Poor kid.

[sabriel-0405.livejournal.com]

Interesting. Very interesting. Real growth for Harry, not in the sexual awakening but in a very real stamp of mortality. I loved how Anita's protective instincts went into overdrive. She has mixed feelings about Harry, but he is one of hers. You really are incredible. (By the way, Micah's last name doesn't have a g.)

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

The sexual awakening will happen over the next little while (and no, not like that. As Harry's wolfie senses come on line, and as he spends more time with people who spend most of their days dealing with sex, it's going to start to percolate into his thick skull that OMG there are girls and they smell like potential mates and what do I do now?)

(By the way, Micah's last name doesn't have a g.)

You know, one of these days I'll get that right. *shakes head*

[sabriel-0405.livejournal.com]

Harry's already begun to have sexual awakening with Anita. Not "like that" but the realization that he is attracted to women and Anita in particular though he knows that wouldn't be healthy for any of them.

[child-labor.livejournal.com]

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I think Harry's big thing right now is a) not let anyone know he's all doomed, and b) still sort of curious about anything Anita has to show him. After all, if you're a marked man, you can do pretty much anything right?

I can't remember if felly-tone was something from the books or not. It sounds familiar, though. Hrm.

[catherinecookmn.livejournal.com]

"Fellytone" is said by Arthur Weasley -- and, IIRC, Ron -- in GoF.

Heh! Looks like Harry and Anita have the same problem: They both feel absolutely pants at what they're supposed to be doing, and just plain feel pants, period. And they also feel they have to keep hiding shit from each other -- even though they've already found that Hiding Shit Causes Problems.

[(Anonymous)]

One grammar error noted:

Box Fairy had come in the middle of the night and exploded. He'd had vanished so quickly.

This chapter was very interesting. It seems like the story's gearing up for another deluge of events. The narration said that the crew was feeling subdued, and the actions and dialogue showed that; It's amzing to see authors minimalize words for greater impact and oumph. I enjoyed how you linked the last sentence of this chapter to the previous chapter and, by doing so, pushed home what was bothering Harry all day.

On another note, HARRY IS GOING TO BE RAISING THE DEAD? WHEN DID HE TRY BEFORE? <"Now that's just not true," I contradicted. "You helped me with that zombie the other day." > What chapter was that? I remember Harry accompanying Anita to the office, but when did he help with the actual raising? Now I'll have to scan through the chapters to find it...*groan*.

E.A.V.

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the note, I'll go back and fix that.

I never said Harry was going to be raising Zombies. I said Anita was going to teach Harry some magic. And when Anita said "helped" with the zombie, it was more like Harry stood around and took up space while Anita did all the work (in chapter 20). She was just trying to make him feel useful. Sorry if I made it seem he was all zombielicious.

Thanks for your comment about the subduedness. And yes, more action at some point soon. :D

[(Anonymous)]

"Would you mind starting on zombies tonight?" I asked. "We can start small, only a few."

This was the line that suggested to me that Harry would be raising zombies, or he'll learn the underlying technique, try a few times, fail and apply the learning to another area of magic.

Yay for action, but we musn't forget the family down time. I just love the word "musn't."

E.A.V.

[clare009.livejournal.com]

Ooh excellent chapter as usual. I love that Anita has taken Harry under her wing and is going to be teaching him some stuff they don't talk about at Hogwarts. The boy needs all the help he can get.

On the *cough* sexual awakening of Harry note, I must admit that I really feel a whole Harry/Nathaniel vibe going on. Not sure why - I'm not usually a slashy girl, but, um, yeah...

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

The boy needs all the help he can get.
Ain't that the truth.

Re the slashy overtones... this has two prongs. One, Nate's still trying to get over his "training" where he was submissive in a sexual way to mostly everyone around him. Two, Harry's now surrounded by a bevy of bisexual vampires and lyncathopopes. Like Jason, he's going to start asking himself that question. Oh, to be a teenager with all the angst and confusion it entails.

[catherinecookmn.livejournal.com]

I can just see Jean-Claude sitting down to explain the facts of life to Harry. Actually, no I can't.

[(Anonymous)]

Loved it. Though for some reason it seemed so... short. I find that the story is taking a different turn and that your writing style has for lack of a better word changed a litte. Nothing drastic but still a change (I can tell people apart from their writing style quite well; I know, creepy).

On a different note I hope you can update switchback next *hint hint cough cough wink wink nudge nudge* ;D

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

Though for some reason it seemed so... short.
It was over 5,000 words. Not overly short. About 12 pages. But yeah, it does read really quickly.

I find that the story is taking a different turn and that your writing style has for lack of a better word changed a litte.

*is very curious* How do you think? Can you give me some examples? I have my own thoughts on this, but would like to hear your comments.

switchback
That's in the queue, let me tell you :) But first, I must finish Different Eyes. But soon on SB, soon.

[(Anonymous)]

12 pages?! Wow, that didn't read like 12 pages but my Microsoft word says 12 pages too.... I read too fast for my good.

I read over it again and I think the biggest difference is the detail writing.In the first 20-26 chapters details were very frequent. Sometimes un-needed but they were there and it didn'thurt the story. Now the details are still there but not quite as many. The details that are there now are shorter more precise.
Your grammar has improved a bit over the thirty-two chapters as well. I think this is the one that I noticed first. Sometimes I love my english class.
Overall your writing style has changed just a tiny amount. It sounds moreconfident and a bit more mature.

[lishel_fracrium.livejournal.com]

*bounces* You updated. Thank you! so I guess this means that you are or thinking about pairing harry up with ginny? or not who knows? either way this story rocks!

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

Pairing Harry up with Ginny? I mean, no one'd buy that

*ahem*

Thanks!

[houses7177.livejournal.com]

Yay, I got to read the updates! In short, loving it- loving Dumbles and Anita and Harry and all their myriad issues. Harry's really coming alive in the face of death, isn't he? Like you commented above, a marked man can do anything- and Harry is no exception. He didn't seem overly whiny at all, the right touch of concern and distress, but still that indomitable Harry Spirit.

This was most excellent- and read smoothly. I, too, initially thought that you were indicating that Harry would raise zombies. I see what you mean now, but the phrasing is very indicative of him actually raising the zombies.

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

Harry's really coming alive in the face of death, isn't he?

That's just the way he is, I think. He had a few moments of "Why bother?" in the coffee shop, but in my view, even if he knows it's all futile for himm, there are still other people out there for whom life will go on.

This was most excellent- and read smoothly.

I actually spent more time going over this chapter and tweaking it, so I'm glad that came through. I should probably make an effor to review my stuff at least once, neh? I'm just so impatient.

I'll have to go back and address that zombie thing in the next chapter. Thanks.

[thymidinekinase.livejournal.com]

Hi. So pleased that you've written another installment. It seemed like a transition chapter. I'm glad Harry and Anita are getting some rest between crises, but I'm definitely ready for some more action. I noticed one grammar error at the end: I thought I saw a shadow passed over Harry's face.

Was Anita actually being ... tactful and manipulative? At the same time [Blinks] I haven't read the books in a while, but that seems a little out of character.

Looking forward to more, though!

Omg.

[(Anonymous)]

First off, I love your story. I'll be checking for updates on Inevitable a LOT. and its partly inspired me to write my own HP/AB crossover... provided I can find some AB stuff. So yea, keep writing, and, well, Good, GOOD fic. Keep it up.
-Spike

[stealthyshade.livejournal.com]

Once, again, I love this story.
-Spike

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

Another AB/HP crossover? Rocking. Let me know if you'd like me to link it to the master list (http://www.livejournal.com/users/mhalachaiswords/48273.html).

And welcome to the story :)