Three dollars and some change

I'm a Unitarian Universalist, not quite birthright but almost. (We started going when I was about 4.) My parents are both lapsed Episcopalians, and wanted somewhere to give me a community and a religious upbringing, so they went with the Dedham Unitarians.

At that point, in the mid-1970s, the UU Church as a whole had much more of the Christian vestiges than it has now, but they were also very much connected (I feel) to the Spirit of the 60s, as well. The denomination has since become Less Officially Christian, which is (for me) a Good Thing, though some individual churches are more steeped in it. (I just don't attend those, because I don't mix well with Christianity on an ongoing basis.)

While I'm pagan and find my spirituality in nature and in intent, I first found it in community and liberal religious faith, and have the UU church in my blood and psyche. I have spent some years of my life not involved in a church, and some years involved, and it always makes me feel better about life to *be* involved in community with others, so I've been casting about, past month or two, to see which UU church will work for me, locally. (My town doesn't have one.) I'm currently going with, basically, checking out some of the ones within about 15 miles/25 minutes' drive. (I may look at a few others slightly further out, like Fitchburg or Bolton or Harvard, but only if I can't feel OK with any of the three I'm considering now.)

There's one in Groton (MA), which would have the advantage of being on the way to/from work, so I could maybe sometimes drop in on evening activities on the way home. Unlike a lot of places I've been at, they do do a *lot* of non-Sunday stuff, which is cool if mostly unworkable with my current work schedule. On a less good note, their minister's been there for *20 years*, which is a long damn time. This worries me, tbh; I might like her a lot and then she'd retire soon, or it might be that the place has calcified around her, or, you know, many other possibilities. The one time I went on Sunday, it was a perfectly nice and very welcoming place, but I miscalculated/didn't read the webpage right, and the minister was off that week. Also it's a freakin' classic Old New England Church Building (which is what I grew up with and am bored by) and feels pretty suburban as a community. I'm leaning toward no, but I do want to meet the minister first.

I enjoyed the Nashua (NH) church when I went, but it's more urban than I like, and also, they do Joys and Concerns in a stupid way, so I will use this as a reason to Not Go There More.

Um, let me restart that. In some Christian churches, they have weekly prayers for people, and the Episcopalians (with whom I have nodding acquaintance) often read them aloud during service. (I know other denominations do too, just, I don't know as much about, for example, Methodists.) The UU Church instead has incorporated a thing (at many parishes) where, at Sunday services, they have people who want to talk about a good thing or a stressful thing in their lives come up and light a candle, and (briefly) talk about it. (And the rest of the folks there that day can send them hope, love, congratulatory or concerned expressions, supportive energy, or a kind thought.) I think this is neat and, among other things, can decentralize the minister as the sole focus of the service, and can also let people get to know each other more.

Anyway, so Nashua does it by having people write down their joy or concern, and the lay worship leader then reads them out, instead. Nope! Dun' like it. Impersonal and hierarchical. So, no.

I went to the Milford (NH) church last week, and they're the leaders in the clubhouse at the moment, despite being in entirely the wrong direction for the rest of my life. Milford's a larger town than Groton, and feels more funky-urbanish even though it's only 16,000 people or so, and there's a domestic violence support organization right next door to the church, which is neat (for my particular interests, anyway). Unfortunately, the pagan store I finally was able to go to, after a few attempts to find it open over the past couple months, was literally closing for the last time that day. (I mean, at least everything was 50% off? Also, they're going to be keeping going via an online presence.) But it's still a reasonably off-kilter town even so.

Unlike my other two exploratory visits at Nashua and Groton, the minister was actually there, which was a pleasant change. This was the 1st anniversary of her starting ministry in Milford, and the church had had some major (unspoken in the service) divisions, and she came out of retirement to take over and, basically, help heal them. (After having a major accident of her own that she's still recovering from, so, healing and recovery not just one way.) All the readings/meditations were based around the theme of growth and coming together, and she basically opened the sermon up by talking about how she came to be minister to the church, and then invited parishioners to talk -- about a moment of beauty in their lives, or a moment of reconnection, or a moment that encapsulated the church, for them. And some people talked about their private lives, and some people talked about church stuff, and it all worked rather well.

And then afterwards they had a rainbow potluck. (With some of the foods being rainbow-y, and some being one specific color of the rainbow.) Which, entertaining. Plus I met some neurodiverse pagan SF geeks, so that was *also* nice.

Anyway. Not decided yet, but... leaning.

I wish that abused people who become/became centers of community would stop dying on me.

I'm sorry, that sounds callous, but it's true.

badfaun, who I first met in roleplaying MUSHes, died in the wee small hours of today, of metastatic cancer. They'd beaten breast cancer, and then it came back in their brain and ultimately, spread to the cerebrospinal fluid, which again, is impressive in its inventiveness, but really not what you want out of life.

Anyway. I met her on GarouMUSH, and they came to an offshoot RP MUSH vaguely based on original Whitewolf games, with the then-Pink-House-Crew. Eventually I started hanging out with her and Various Friends on an offshoot non-RP MUCK, and then Discord, and just, you know, things. I met her and her then-partner-eventual-husband aerynvale back in 2002, when I went on my Long Trip across the country, and they still lived in San Diego. I sort of always had vague ideas about seeing them in Seattle but Oh Well.

I am not as rip-roaringly angry and shocked by Leah dying, as opposed to minoanmiss, where it was unexpected liek whoa, so I for some reason don't feel like encapsulating her life in small bits, but: poet, writer, fierce intellect. Earth scientist, finding a way to volunteer and study locally when she could. Gender was a prison and a construct and cancer and its after effects were a different kind of prison, and the abuse by her father led to so many different kinds of fatigue and physical and emotional fuckery, but she, too, kept pushing and trying, until the cancer wouldn't let her.

To sum up: Am sad. The end.