FIC: Five Men Lorelai Gilmore Probably Shouldn't Have Kissed (multi fandom)

[mhalachai]

Five Men Lorelai Gilmore Probably Shouldn't Have Kissed
Two drabbles, two double drabbles and a weirdly snarkastic ficlette, all crossover style
by mhalachaiswords

Disclaimer: None of these characters or shows belong to me.
Rating: PG13 for the innuendo
Setting: Any vague time in Gilmore Girls where Lorelai's not in a relationship with anyone.
Anita Blake: Any old time
Supernatural: Any time mid season 2
Kindred the Embraced: Post series
Stargate Atlantis: In the middle of the Return Part 1 (3x10).
Highlander: Whenever.
Notes: I feel better now that this is out of my system. Really, I do. The initiative came to me as I was trying to figure out exactly how I could make a crossover of the Gilmore Girls, because that's what I do.

The One With The Daddy Issues (Richard Zeeman, Anita Blake)

She had issues with men, she knew that, as so many people were quick to tell her. But really, getting involved with a man named Richard who was a high school teacher hit too many buttons all at once. She had to stop this.

Right now.

But there was something about the carefully controlled way Richard held her, tense with coiled energy, that kept pulling her back to him. She knew there was something about him she didn't understand, just out of reach with his brilliant grin. Something wild, something scary...

Something that was maybe just too wild for her.
end


The One With The Mrs. Robinson Issues (Sam Winchester, Supernatural)

She was going to hell.

There had to be a special layer of hell reserved for mothers who kissed men who looked like their daughter's first boyfriends.

He was so much like Dean Forester, right down to the goofy way he smiled at her when she was rambling. Really, Sam Winchester freaked her out, which was probably her undoing.

She had to see how much like Dean this Sam really was.

Not so much, it turned out, not with his clothes off. Dean would never have done that, and certainly not that, with Lorelai.

She hoped.

She really, really hoped.
end


The One With the Vampire Issues (Frank Kohanek, Kindred The Embraced)

He was weird, and he'd fit into Stars Hollow just fine. It was the first time they'd had a full-fledged detective from San Francisco join the police force. When Lorelai met him, just after she had appointed herself his local tour guide, he asked her if there was a high instance of unexplained anemia in the townsfolk.

Weird. And a little crazy.

He showed up when a guest started a fight at the inn, eyed the locks and construction of the doors, and suggested that she put in a few more windows, to take advantage of the sunlight.

She tracked him down the next day and bought him a coffee, and managed to restrain herself for a whole five minutes before asking if he thought there were vampires in town.

He didn't do a spit-take, which was disappointing. Hearing him say there was no such thing as vampires wasn't all that believable.

Rory thought he was weird. Emily found out and wouldn't shut up about the disaster for weeks.

But... maybe he thought there were vampires. Maybe she thought she was in control of her life. Lies they told themselves to be able to deal with the mess of living.
end


The One With The History Issues (John Sheppard, Stargate Atlantis)

John Sheppard had been insufferable in high school, and the passage of more than twenty years hadn't changed that.

Of course, logic seldom played a role in her life. John might be impossible, but the Air Force thing was a turn on, no doubt about that. On the surface, John Sheppard had been, and still was, everything her parents had wanted for her: a Lieutenant Colonel, upwardly mobile, easy in conversation, and damned easy on the eyes.

It was as much an act as it had been in school, only now there was a level of darkness in John that Lorelai would never have imagined.

She knew he'd been in Afghanistan. That didn't really explain the scars on his body, the cuts and marks that he hid so well with a practiced smile and long sleeves. She touched those scars, thinking out loud how strange it all was, that they were here like this, until John asked her if she was secretly Canadian and kissed her until she couldn't breathe.

He acted like a man who had lost almost everything, and was planning on getting it all back.

Lorelai pitied whoever it was that was between John and his life.
end


The One With Issues Of His Own (Adam Pierson/Methos, Highlander)

Meeting someone in the Kim antique shop wasn't really how Lorelai planned on spending her afternoon. When she heard voices talking in Korean, she almost bailed. But she had to get a glass bowl for Sookie's new dining room centerpiece.

The tall white guy looked as if he'd have been more at home in Oxford than Seoul, but he actually had Mrs. Kim smiling as they finished their business. On his way out, he had stopped Lorelai from pitching headfirst into the china cabinet. She'd offered to buy him a cup of coffee, mainly because there was something she needed to know.

"Where did you learn to speak Korean?"

"Korea."

Dead end. But if there was anything Lorelai knew, it was how to wear down laconic men.

"Why are you in town?"

This time, the words accompanied a shrug. "Doing a favor for a friend."

"You're a regular altruist."

He leaned over the table to her. "And you're annoying."

She beamed. "Got it in one."

He shifted in his chair, arranging his long overcoat as he moved. "Mrs. Kim doesn't like you."

"I'm a bad influence on her daughter."

"Shouldn't the word 'apparently' work its way into that sentence?"

"Only on alternating Tuesdays. What's your name?"

"Why?"

"Because I'm Lorelai."

His eyebrow quirked. "You must hate your parents for that one."

"Please, I have loads of other things to hate my parents for."

"Let me guess." He set his cup down and looked at her. For the first time, Lorelai wondered if this had been a mistake. "Rich parents, emotionally distant, they didn't understand you, so you left to make a life for yourself. Probably young, there may have been a man involved, but that wouldn't have been the main reason. How am I doing?"

"Disturbingly well," Lorelai muttered into her coffee.

"You've been in this town long enough to know everyone, and you take it upon yourself to fling yourself into their personal business under the guise of this 'altruism' thing you love to talk about. You revel in being different and slightly better than those around you, but hate it whenever anyone calls you on your actions."

Whatever stunning retort Lorelai was going to come up with, any minute now, stalled on her tongue as Luke stomped up to the table. "Who's this?" he asked without preamble.

"My new therapist." She wished this mystery man would stop smirking at her. Sardonic didn't even begin to cover it.

"Huh." Luke's glare could strip paint, and the man wasn't phased in the slightest. "Are you eating?"

The man looked at Lorelai. Really, she should just boot his ass out of here and carry on with her day. "Two burgers," she said. "With extra onions."

Now Luke was looking at her, and she wished he'd stop. Wordlessly, he vanished into the kitchen.

"Did I mention bossy and controlling?"

Lorelai set her cup down. "I'm buying you lunch, as part of this aforementioned altruism thing, so shut up. More coffee?"

He smiled then, a dangerous smile. "Adam."

Lorelai paused, halfway standing up. "As in 'Madam, I'm'?"

"There's only one person I call madam, and he hates that."

"Well, he's not here." Lorelai continued over to the coffee station. "Or are we talking about an imaginary friend?"

"Unlikely." Adam slid his cup to an easy refill position. "I left him in Paris."

"Ooh, Paris." Lorelai put the coffee pot on a nearby table and sat down. "You're from Paris? Tell me about it."

The man took a long sip of coffee. "It's full of Frenchmen, it's dirty, the traffic is impossible and the politicians are atrocious."

"Okay, now lie to me about Paris," Lorelai urged, leaning over the table. She realized, a little too late, that she was flirting. What the hell? He's an annoying ass that won't go away.

Okay, that I won't let go away.

"Beautiful city," Adam lied smoothly. "Wonderful people. Full of culture and delicious food. Flowers on the bank of the Seine all day."

"Much better." Lorelai stopped herself from looking over at the counter, where she was sure Luke was carefully not paying her any attention. "So when are you going back?"

"Friday."

"Three days from now?"

"Unless something occurs to upset the linear progression of time." There was a glint in his eyes, as if he was laughing both at her and at some secret joke.

It was making her heart flutter.

Damn it.

He was watching her, waiting for a response. She just wished she knew what she was getting herself into. She knew one thing, though. This was going to be a disaster.

"So," she said, making herself meet his direct gaze. "Have any plans until then?"

end

Comments

[sabriel-0405.livejournal.com]

The first one was great. The second was totally hilarious since I am watching both series concurrently.

[sophia-ken.livejournal.com]

OOOOhhhh! Gilmore Girls! Loved this, especially John Shepard and Adam Pierson, maybe it's because I could actually see Lorelai with these two. But Sam freaked me a bit.. ;) I never thought what was the big deal with Dean, couldn't stand him. But Dean Winchester with Lorelai, now that would be interesting.
I'm now wondering the 5 Girls or Guys that Chris Hayden should never have kissed. :)

[penyn-1600.livejournal.com]

Oh, these are great! I especially love the Adam one and the Sam one.

I. Love. You

[leni-ba.livejournal.com]

I have a thing for Lorelai/Dean (shhh!), so the crossover with Supernatural was just perfect. And in perfect Lorelai-talk, as well!

Named Richard and a high school teacher, indeed. Had never thought about that.

And the one with Methos is so perfect. I have to say it, I'd never would have thought of a succesful GG and HL x-over, especially considering the characters. Lorelai's bubbliness and Methos' not!bubbliness - how did you do it? I'm in awe. And the title for this one! *dies* abso-freaking-perfect!

*bows*

[jaydeyn-sitari.livejournal.com]

These were awesome! :D I enjoyed all of them but like you, didn't want the last one to stop... I think you nailed just how it would go between them. (*ahem* more please? *flutters eyelashes*) And the one with John made me all shivery. Poor John. (Good grief. I almost said Poor Harry - this is what you do to my brain!!)

And the fact that you did Kindred fic makes me all warm and glowy and nostalgic. :D I loved that show!

:)
Jaydeyn

[trish786.livejournal.com]

That was great! I especially liked the John Sheppard and Adam Piersosn ones. It figures that Lorelai would still go after a guy who has already called her on her attitude.

[nikitangel.livejournal.com]

(here via leni_ba) Wow! Talk about a pairing I never predicted (Lorelai/Adam). Very cool and well done, especially: "You revel in being different and slightly better than those around you, but hate it whenever anyone calls you on your actions."

[rose1thorn.livejournal.com]

Your Adam voice is among the best I've ever read. Great work!

[houses7177.livejournal.com]

These are absolutely charming. I know enough about the Gilmore Girls to understand them, and the banter with Methos was so perfect I felt like I was watching it as film. What fun!

[plsteward.livejournal.com]

To kiss or to kill.. really a toss up here. Why? Because I don't need a new fandom. Between you & my mom marathoning the show, I'm something like doomed. Loved them all, but the Adam one was the one that I loved the best. It felt right & god, he'd be so much more fun than Chris, but I'm still hoping for Luke to get back with her.. and crap...

I just realized it's too late.

I'm fan girling it already.

[thekams.livejournal.com]

I loved the last one. I loved it. I loved them all...but I loved the last one . ♥ Such a good thing to see and be able to read before going to bed.

But now I want a ton of Gilmore Girls/Highlander crossovers in epic chaptered fic style. Boo.

[deepfishy.livejournal.com]

Love them all, especially the Methos one. "Unless something occurs to upset the linear progression of time." Hee!

[goldenrat84.livejournal.com]

All five drabbles are really cute. I notice a very believable, 'this is going to be a disaster' thread throughout all these.

[iamabee-buzz.livejournal.com]

Oh. Em. Gee.

Totally love the last one. I mean, the other four are awesome, too, but the Adam one is just the best. It's probably wrong how much I love a smartass. :D

[firefox1490.livejournal.com]

I almost didnt get the Highlander one then I got and laughed. Stargate one was really cool too. The Anita Blake one was cool too. Loved the Supernatural one too, omg that was kinda wrong.

[zephyrrs.livejournal.com]

Stupid LJ keeps losing my comments.

These are marvelous. Methos, however, jumps out high above them all as banteriffic.

He He. I must be overtired if I make up words.

[flareonfury.livejournal.com]

loved the one where she kisses Sam! Yay!

[firefox1490.livejournal.com]

"Unless something occurs to upset the linear progression of time." Wins for best freakin line EVER!!!

[tinpra.livejournal.com]

I don't know if I like the Methos fic best b/c it was longest or b/c Methos was just so...him. Insufferably all-knowing and full of smirks, but still compelling even when you're not quite sure why.