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mhalachai
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Date: 2007-12-17 06:51 am (UTC)Very good chapter overall; I like Dawn's post-traumatic stress, how she leaps directly from logic (or at least, her usual thought process, which kinda resembles logic in a way) to total panic on the basis of just the color of Asher's hair. It's very real, and pulls you along - you know that what she's thinking really does not make a whole lot of sense, but it makes sense to her, at that moment, and you really convey that to the reader, really put us in her head.
I also very much like Dawn's sublimated anger, and how it's all jumbled up with her guilt - that in the midst of dreaming that she's something terrible, she also dreams herself powerful and in control. It terrifies her, but it's there, and that too is a great bit of psychological realism.