AB FIC: Tear Me Up (Anita/Nathaniel)

[mhalachai]

Tear Me Up
An Anita Blake story for 1sentence
by mhalachaiswords

Fandom: Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter
Pairing: Nathaniel/Anita
Theme set: Alpha
Rating: up to R for imagery and themes
Notes: Follows the Anita/Richard and the Anita/Jean-Claude sets. Also, #29 isn't a typo. Not my characters or my world, etc.

~~~

01. Comfort
It takes him a while, but finally Nathaniel realizes that Anita's looking for safety and comfort as much as he is.

02. Kiss
He's kissed hundreds of women and men, but it isn't until Anita bites his lip, hard, that he feels like he's ever been properly kissed.

03. Soft
There's something about the soft sound of her breathing, when she is asleep, that makes Nathaniel want to die.

04. Pain
The first time he feels the pain of her teeth sink into his skin is the closest he's ever come to heaven.

05. Potatoes
She said she wanted potatoes for dinner, so he spends almost half an hour looking for the best ones.

06. Rain
He wants to scream until his throat is raw, claw at the ground until his fingers bleed, but instead he just lets the cold rain fall over him... why doesn't she understand?

07. Chocolate
She buys him chocolate sometimes; he never tells her of the johns who used to buy him chocolate first.

08. Happiness
He refuses to believe in the happiness she promises -- nothing this good can last.

09. Telephone
He answers the phone like they do on TV; he doesn't get why Anita always looks at him weird when he does.

10. Ears
He listens, to all she says, and to what she doesn't say.

11. Name
Her name tastes like sex and frustration and comfort in his mouth.

12. Sensual
He's spent so much time pretending to be sensual, a well-paid feast for the senses, that he forgets how to be normal around her.

13. Death
He knows now that he'll die when she does... no more worries about being left alone.

14. Sex
She refuses to think of sex as currency, but it's the only way he can make her need him.

15. Touch
For so long, she touches him, but doesn't let him touch her -- sometimes he thinks he'll die without ever pushing himself into her body,

16. Weakness
She says she loathes weakness; she doesn't see how he uses the illusion of his weakness to get closer to her than any other man.

17. Tears
When she comes home from the hospital, bruised and still bleeding, she tries not to let him see her tears of pain

18. Speed
Occasionally, he is happy she can't run with the leopards; the speed is the only thing he has left that is all his.

19. Wind
She bought him a winter jacket; never knowing of all the years he spent huddled under lampposts in the cutting wind.

20. Freedom
She doesn't understand that he doesn't want freedom -- he wants her.

21. Life
Every time he shifts, it's like life begins anew -- when she's there to see, it's like he'll never die.

22. Jealousy
The first time he feels jealousy, real jealousy, is when he listens through the thin wooden door as Jason fucks her.

23. Hands
It startles him, sometimes, to see how small her hands look against his thigh.

24. Taste
The wereleopard in him loves to taste things; sweet things, salty things, but mostly her.

25. Devotion
She asks him why he doesn't go to church -- what else could he pray for, now that she's there to guide him?

26. Forever
He doesn't believe in forever, no matter what she promises... one day, he'll die and he won't have her anymore.

27. Blood
She liked to draw blood during sex, he gets that -- the beast likes it, but he'll never mark her skin.

28. Sickness
She thought he never got sick; but she couldn't see the decay and ugliness under his skin from years on the street as someone else's trash.

29. Melody
There's some kind of silent hum, the most beautiful song he's never heard, in the sound of her breathing when she sleeps.

30. Star
She's uncomfortable with his job... even so, he wants her to see him on stage, see how he shines.

31. Home
She tells him to go home; she doesn't see that his home is at her feet, wherever she is.

32. Confusion
Even when she forces him to tell her exactly what he wants, she can't comprehend his desires for pain and domination -- at least that's what she says.

33. Fear
She took him away from Gabriel, from Raina... all he fears now is losing her interest.

34. Lightning/Thunder
The force of her anger falls upon him like a thunderstorm, loud and painful, but even the thunder has to rest.

35. Bonds
She asks him if the handcuffs are too tight -- the answer to that will never be yes.

36. Market
He doesn't like going to the market without her list... what if he buys something she didn't want?

37. Technology
She doesn't understand the computer, but she lets him buy the most expensive one anyway, just because he says he wants it.

38. Gift
She likes to buy him things, just because... she doesn't expect anything in return, and the first few times he didn't know how to say thank you

39. Smile
The curve of her lip, the way she ducks her head when she smiles... Nathaniel wishes he was smart or witty or something, to tell her how she looks like an angel.

40. Innocence
She is so innocent, about sex and pain and stuff, it makes Nathaniel feel old.

41. Completion
Every time he thinks he's happy, complete, he thinks of something else he wants from her -- at this rate, he'll never be satisfied and it makes him angry at her, if only for a moment.

42. Clouds
Her emotions flow over her face like clouds on a summer day... one moment she's happy with him, then she's angry, and he can't stop it any more than he could stop the rain.

43. Sky
Centred beneath her body is like being sheltered under the sky; so safe, so real.

44. Heaven
Nathaniel knows that Anita is going to heaven; after all, she's done so much for everyone, even him.

45. Hell
He remembers what that priest said about hell; Nathaniel hears the echo of hells fire every time Anita screams at him in anger.

46. Sun
He doesn't spend much time in the sun, because she wakes so late, but that's okay -- he's always hidden from the light.

47. Moon
He stares at her in the moonlight... she's as pale as death and even more lovely.

48. Waves
She loves the bath, flicking little waves of water at him playfully, but he doesn't mind -- he likes her wet.

49. Hair
One day, he knows she's going to ask him why he keeps his hair so long, and he's going to have to lie to her.

50. Supernova
There's a champagne supernova behind his eyes when she's not around; worlds exploding just because she's not there to save him.

--fin

Comments

[mlady-rebecca.livejournal.com]

Beautiful. I think 13 is my favorite.

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

Thank you :)

[eavling.livejournal.com]

13. Death
He knows now that he'll die when she does... no more worries about being left alone.

I agree; no. 13 is my favorite. It's got that certain feeling. Did you list it as 13 on purpose? (unlucky number, et al.) But if there is a child, as hinted in the previews for Danse Macabre, and the two triumvirates are somehow destroyed, who is going to raise the child(ren)?

The last one...is champagne supernova a part of some song? I have a little snippet winding through my mind, but I can't quite remember.

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

No, #13 was "Death" on the prompt chart.
As for the kid, I'm thikning Micah might step up. Or even Anita's family; they're not abusive or anything, just distant.

Oasis did a song called Champagne Supernova back in the day. I can't remember it at all, but the phrase has stuck in my head.

[thekams.livejournal.com]

"How many special people change...where were you while we were getting high."
"Someday you will find me, caught beneath the landslide, in a champagne supernova in the sky"
"But you and I we never die, the world's still spinning 'round, we don't know why"

The song (at least the version I have) is friggin 7 minutes and 27 seconds long. It's a good song, though.

[eavling.livejournal.com]

I knew I'd heard it somewhere. Thanks.

Would it not have been considered sacrilige when that song was at the hight of popularity to not remember it at the very least? And I was an occasional, radio listener fan!

[goldenrat84.livejournal.com]

Nathaniel's thoughts are so despairing.

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

But there are tiny hints of promise and hope in there, if you look hard enough :)

[practical-puss.livejournal.com]

Gah! 49! 49! You kill me. I too, adore 13. I reluctantly think 36 is rather sweet. I think 17 is my favorite. I'm not even sure why, but it is.

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

Yeah, what can I say? I'm evil. 36 is sorta sweet, sorta desparate.... 17 is the only time in all of this that Anita's the one who's hurt, put the shoe on the other foot.

Glad you like them :)

[sabriel-0405.livejournal.com]

They are all wonderful. 49 is particularly good. I like 22 as well. You are so good at this!

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

With 22, we've never ever heard Nate's side of that -- banished from Anita's bed, and she's suddenly screwing Jason while Nate's outside? How is that in any way fair?

Of course, I spend a lot of time looking at these things from Nathaniel's persepective, so.

Thanks :)

[sabriel-0405.livejournal.com]

Actually, we know he didn't like it since he asked Jason how he got to have full sex the first time Jason fed the ardeur.

Hope you are planning on doing more of these!

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

It's interesting, how hard these things are. I'm sure Micah/Anita would be interesting, but someone's claimed it. The one I *don't* want to do, though, is Anita/Edward. I'm on A/E overload :P

[uforeah.livejournal.com]

I stole Anita/Micah I thought about doing Nate but I was hoping you would. I should have it done soon, then you can redo it and blast mine out of the water.

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

Also, I should have said the first time how I was not adverse to that idea :)

[sabriel-0405.livejournal.com]

I wish you'd do Anita/Micah just for us! (Your rabid fans, rather than the 1st sentence group.)

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

it's very, very tempting... maybe I'll do that to whip up interest in Micah. Hrm.

[catherinecookmn.livejournal.com]

Nathaniel's going to be one hell of an amateur shrink in a few years. Anita should pay for him to go to college to become one.

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

That's not a bad idea.

[thekams.livejournal.com]

Ahhh...49! I so want to know all about the hair, now! And yes, I have to say #13 is my afvourite as well =) Oh Nathaniel...*huggles him* poor kid's gone through so much.

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

He's gone through a lot, true. It's interesting in the books, tho, how having someone "save" him didn't solve his problems.

[houses7177.livejournal.com]

Somehow I missed this one. Perhaps while I was away? Nicely done. I do enjoy your Anita/Nathaniel. My favorite of this bunch is 42, Clouds. Anita is like weather, following its own rules that no one else around it can completely understand. Nice!

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

Thanks :) I love Anita/Nathaniel, they're such an odd couple and it's so outside of Anita's comfort zone.

Anita is like weather, following its own rules that no one else around it can completely understand.

... or figure out how to stop :P

[houses7177.livejournal.com]

That, too.

I'm really looking forward to reading everything else you've posted since I went away. Reading stuff! Yay!

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

Reading stuff! Yay!

Yay! Not sure when you left, but everything's posted in order on my LJ for your reading pleasure.