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mhalachaiThis is what I've been working on for the past two days. Please read the rating note.
Summary: When everything falls apart and the people you love are dying, you need to go back to where it all began...
Disclaimer: The Firefly universe belongs to Joss Whedon et al. Merry Gentry belongs to Laurell K. Hamilton. I'm only borrowing and will return them at the end of the fic.
Rating: R. Please note this is a dark story, dealing with issues of off-screen violence and rape.
Author's Note: A follow-up to my Firefly/Merry Gentry crossovers, Secrets and Stories. This story is set in the Firefly timeline (after Serenity), referencing Merry Gentry stuff. This is not a pairing fic, but deals with the relationship between Mal and Inara.
Word count: 7,251
Phonetic Chinese: Tyen-sah duh uh-muo -- Goddamn monsters. Wuo duh ma -- Mother of Jesus. Source is the FireflyWiki.
~*~
Mal and Zoe were working on the mule in the cargo bay with Kaylee, Simon watching from the stairs, when River's voice drifted hauntingly over the intercom.
"Simon?" The word was thick with tears, uncertain and fragile. Everyone froze in that instant, then Simon shot to his feet. But before he could do anything, the intercom was filled with a ragged breath, a gulp. "Simon, you have to go to the infirmary and get it ready," she said, voice stronger.
"What..." Simon said. There was no way River could have heard him, but that never mattered with River.
"You have to go now and get it ready. Then get Jayne and a stretcher."
"What the hell for?" Mal demanded as he strode to the intercom. His hand was almost to the button when River spoke over the intercom, but not to anyone on the ship.
"Inara? Can you hear me? It's Serenity."
Mal's stomach dropped. Inara was out on a job, was supposed to meet the ship back in the black in a day or so. She wasn't supposed to be back now, not when River was telling Simon there was a need for doctoring. He stepped back from the intercom, seeing Kaylee's frightened face out of the corner of his eye, but for once it didn't matter.
"Inara, we'll be there for you soon." As River spoke, the engines revved up to a screaming pitch, and the ship swung around.
Mal looked at Kaylee. Everyone on that ship had been through much too think that River was playing around. If she was, though, Mal was going to tan that girl's hide. She has to be playing around. "Kaylee..."
As Mal watched, Kaylee swallowed her fears and put down her wrench with shaking fingers. "Anything River wants," she said, running for the engine room. Simon watched Kaylee go, then stepped down the stairs toward the infirmary without a word.
Seeing Simon go without an argument chilled Mal down to the bone. Simon knew River best and he would know if there might be any hint this was a joke, or some crazy dream of hers.
As usual, it was Zoe who dragged Mal back. "Sir? What are we going to do?"
We're going to do the job, and right now the job's finding out what the hell happened to Inara. "C'mon," Mal muttered, taking the stairs up to the bridge two at a time. Zoe's light footsteps followed him.
River sat bolt upright in Wash's old chair, her eyes half-closed as she maneuvered switches and buttons, coaxing Serenity into the fastest speed the ship could handle. It wasn't until Mal stumbled by the fore-ladder and had to catch himself on the console that he saw the drying tear tracks on River's cheeks.
"What's going on?" he demanded.
River's fingers danced steadily over the controls, not showing any hint of the trembling that ran through her body.
"River!"
"River, we need to know what we're going up against," Zoe said, giving Mal a look. "We need to know what's out there so we don't go in blind, and you're the only one who knows."
River shook her head. "Not blind, it's not dark yet," she said, her breath hitching up in a sob. Her hand paused over the thruster controls, then moved away. "We're coming, Inara, don't go dark, we're coming."
Zoe was looking at readouts on the ship's screens. "Looks like we'll be at her location in about fifteen minutes, sir," she said. "If River doesn't burn the engines out."
"I won't burn out," River said, her eyes fully closed now. "Kaylee keeps me whole, my engines solid, like ice in winter."
Heavy footsteps pounded up into the bridge. "What are we doing?" Jayne growled. Mal looked at him, just looked, but Jayne took a step back. "We aiming to do some killing?"
A horrible idea exploded in Mal's mind. They were far away from Reaver space, but a single ship with only one person--
"Not Reavers," River said. Her dark eyes opened, staring out into the black. "Reavers have no reason and that is a Reaver's reason, there was no reasoning and no rational and no refuge. Not Reavers."
Simon ran onto the bridge, panting. "I've got everything in order, but for what?" he said.
Mal pushed himself off the console. "Don't know. Jayne, Zoe, get armed and get to the shuttle doors. Once Inara's docked, we're going into that shuttle."
"Can Inara dock the shuttle?" Zoe asked quietly. "If she's as hurt as River's making her out to be..."
"Inara can do it," Mal said.
"Yeah, well, what if she can't?" Jayne asked. "We need suiting up?"
"No!" River shouted, startling everyone. "No time, no second chances, no no no!"
Simon tried to touch his sister's shoulder, but she shrugged him off, intent on flying. "River--"
"She can do it," River whispered. "She has to do it." As Mal motioned everyone to get moving, he heard River say in a tiny voice, "She doesn't want to die alone."
~~
Mal, Zoe and Jayne stood in front of the airlock to Inara's shuttle, waiting in dead silence. Simon busied himself behind them, checking over medical supplies.
"Inara, it's Serenity," River said, her gentle voice carrying loudly over the intercom. "You're almost home."
Mal's grip tightened on the butt of his gun.
"You have to do one more thing for me so I can bring you in. You have to enter the auto-docking sequence into the computer." A pause. "I know it hurts, I know it's hard, but you have to help me. You're almost home."
As much as River's voice dragged at Mal's mind, her silences were even worse.
"Not that button, the one beside it," River whispered after a minute. "Then you have to cut the thrusters." River's sharp gasp made everybody jump. "No, no, no! Inara!" River was screaming into the intercom, too loud. "Cold isn't real, nothing's real, it's in your head and it's imagination and body isn't real!"
Serenity began to slow, the tell-tale whine of the thrusters kicking in meaning that River was flying without the computers.
Zoe looked at Mal. "If she's even the slightest bit off at this speed, that shuttle will crash into us and fly apart."
"Ain't going to happen," Mal said, glaring at the airlock as if he could make that shuttle dock with his force of will alone.
The deep sound of metal on metal thrummed though the floor beneath them, then the hissing sound as the airlock sealed.
"You're home," River whispered, and began singing what sounded like a lullaby in a language Mal didn't know.
Now that the shuttle was docked, Mal didn't want to go in there, didn't want to know what had made River crazy, didn't want to know what had happened to Inara. Didn't want that piece of his life taken away from him.
Zoe was the first up the steps with Jayne covering her back. She punched the code to open the airlock, then took cover behind the wall as the door slid open. The smell of blood rushed out of the shuttle, and for a moment Mal wasn't on Serenity, he was in Serenity, Serenity Valley, with his men dying around him, abandoned by everybody and everything and every god there ever was.
Not this time. Mal went up the steps and through the door, his gun aimed and ready for anything that moved, Zoe at his side as always, and Jayne right behind them.
The bed was neatly made. There was no logical sense as to why the bed should have been messy, but it was tidy. There was no blood in sight, but still the scent of it filled the air. Where was Inara?
Slowly, as if caught in the nightmare, Mal looked toward the curtain that hid the cockpit. It hung crooked, ripped on the bottom. Blood was smeared on the ground underneath the curtain, as if some hurt animal had dragged itself there.
"Inara?" Zoe called, her gun aimed steadily at the curtain. "It's us."
Jayne moved to follow Zoe, but Mal put his arm out to stop the other man. It took him a few tries to be able to speak. "Go help Simon with the stretcher."
Jayne didn't argue. Mal wanted Jayne to argue, like he always did, to make this like any other job. But Jayne didn't argue.
Zoe used her free hand to draw the edge of the curtain back, gun aimed at waist level. She pulled the curtain back as far as it would go, but still Mal couldn't see Inara.
Then Zoe went pale and lowered her gun, and Mal didn't want to see what she saw.
"Inara?" Zoe said in the voice she usually reserved for wounded animals and traumatized children. "We're going to help you."
She holstered her gun as she knelt, hands held out. Mal put his gun away and took a step forward, and suddenly he could see everything.
This was where the smell of the blood came from, soaking the pilot's chair, the floor, the blanket that lay off to one side, Inara's dress. Zoe knelt in that blood, murmuring to Inara under her breath, fingers pushing blood-soaked hair off the Companion's bruised and beaten face.
Mal couldn't do anything but look. The dress was ripped to rags, by hands or by a knife, he couldn't tell. Inara must have fallen off the chair, that was the only way to explain why she lay like a crumpled doll, broken and fragile on the ground, one bent leg bare all the way up to her hip, darkening hand-shaped bruises and gashes leaving no question in Mal's mind as to what had happened.
The clatter behind them all, at the entrance of the shuttle, told Mal that the doctor was coming with a stretcher.
And Jayne.
Suddenly, it was the most important thing in the 'verse to Mal that Jayne not see Inara like this. He managed to get out the words, "Cover her."
Zoe looked around at him, and he didn't know what she saw in his face, but she gently pulled down the ripped skirt over Inara's thigh.
Simon appeared, pushing Mal to the side as if he wasn't there. "Zoe, I need you to move," he said, voice crisp and professional and so damned alien that Mal wanted to hit him. "Inara, it's Simon, I'm going to examine you quickly."
Mal couldn't watch, didn't want Inara to know he'd seen her like this. He turned away, only to see Jayne standing there, gawking, stretcher under his arm.
Mal probably would have done something stupid to make Jayne stop, to make him look away, not see Inara like this, when a tiny voice sounded from the door of the shuttle, making everyone freeze. "Inara?"
It was Kaylee.
Mal was moving before the word had even left Kaylee's mouth. He stopped her in the door of the shuttle, turned her bodily around and pushed her out onto the catwalk.
"But Captain--"
"No buts, Kaylee, Inara's being tended to." He gave her a shove that sent her stumbling. "You ain't going in there."
"She's my friend!"
"I know that!" Mal shouted. Kaylee jumped back, and Mal only then saw that her eyes were red with crying. "Kaylee, you go on now, back to the engine room, get her ready for full burn."
Kaylee pulled herself upright. "Where are we going?"
Mal didn't answer.
Something hard settled on Kaylee's face, aging her as Mal watched. "I'll have her ready in a few minutes," she said, stumbling away.
Taking deep breaths of the stale air, clean of blood, did nothing to calm the feelings running furiously in his chest. He couldn't wait for Zoe and Simon to bring down the stretcher with Inara on it. Instead, he went to the bridge. River was swaying back and forth in the chair, hands still.
"Turn us around," Mal said in a ragged voice. River turned her head to him. "You turn us around and you take us to where she came from." River didn't move. "You take us there now!"
Deliverable, River lifted her hands from her lap and began to lay in the course. Mal spun on his heel and stormed down the catwalk as the ship's engines lifted up into a whine.
Zoe and Jayne were carrying Inara on the stretcher down to the infirmary. Someone had draped one of Inara's delicate silks over her body, hiding the ripped dress. Mal hung back until they had left the catwalk, then made himself follow. Inara had been strong enough to pilot the shuttle back to meet Serenity, even after what happened. She didn't deserve anything less from anyone on board.
Simon moved around the infirmary with that strange professionalism, attaching monitors to Inara's hands and neck. His back turned slightly, he said, "Zoe, I need your help."
Jayne finished stowing the stretcher on the wall. "She need blood?" he asked.
Simon didn't look up. "Maybe. Stay close."
"What?" Mal demanded.
"Inara and Jayne both have type B negative blood," Simon explained as he slid the spray-needle into Inara's neck, watching with satisfaction as her eyelids fluttered and the lines of pain on her face eased. "She may need a transfusion. I cross-typed everyone months ago, in case of an emergency."
Jayne nodded and strode to the door. "Come on," he said to Mal.
Mal didn't move, keeping his eyes on Simon. Something on the monitors made the doctor frown. "Doc?" Mal said.
Simon spun around, grabbing an instrument off the side counter in a graceful move. "Everybody who's not helping needs to get out," he said, too calmly for his frantic actions as he pulled back the silk covering and began cutting off Inara's dress.
Jayne grabbed Mal's arm and physically pulled him out of the infirmary. Zoe slammed the door between them and latched it. A red-hot anger burned in Mal and he whirled on Jayne, grabbing the taller man by the shirt and shoving him hard up against the bulkhead. "This is my ship," Mal said between clenched teeth. "Nobody tells me where to go on my ship."
Jayne didn't fight back. "You weren't doing no good in there."
"What the wuo duh ma hell do you know about it?"
Jayne just stared until Mal let him go. Mal paced across the lounge, then kicked at the table so hard it broke in two. "We got stuff to do," Jayne said, adjusting his shirt. "Let the Doc tend to her, she wouldn't be wanting to see us menfolk anyway."
The mercenary stomped up the stairs, very carefully not looking in the glass windows of the infirmary.
"Jayne," Mal said, stopping the other man in place. "Why are you doing this?" She isn't anything to you.
Jayne shrugged and continued up the stairs. "I ain't doing no less for her than I done for my sister, Mattie," he said, voice as full of anger as Mal had ever heard.
Mal didn't ask any more questions.
~~~~
Going back into the shuttle wasn't any better, knowing what was in there. Jayne had his gun out, just in case, and was rifling through things while Mal hesitated in the doorway. How many times had Inara told him to get out of her shuttle? Never to come in without permission?
Jayne pulled back the blanket on the bed, to reveal pure white sheets. "Bed's clean," he said. "So's the floor. Didn't happen in here. Musta happened dirtside."
Mal took a step into the room, wondering when the blood would lose that fresh smell. "She'd gone to meet a client."
The mercenary moved to the cockpit, pushing the curtain back with a careless hand and turning on all the lights, marring the soft and deliberate lines Inara had arranged so carefully in the shuttle. "This wasn't no client who done this." He brought up the shuttle's navigation computer and flipped back to the last flight pattern,
Memories of Atherton Wing danced in Mal's vision. "You don't know that."
"Yeah, I do." Jayne poked at the keys with one finger. "Inara was telling Kaylee something about choosing clients and how it was all 'psychology' and 'feelings'. Sounds like a buncha bull, but she told Kaylee that there ain't been a Companion murdered by a client in a hundred years."
"And?"
Jayne gave Mal a look. "And I was listening in." He frowned back at the controls. "Where did you tell that crazy girl to steer the ship?"
Things were skipping about in Mal's head, and he had to think too hard to answer Jayne's question. "To go back to where Inara came from."
Jayne stabbed a finger at the screen. "That's over here." He moves his finger to the far side of the screen. "This is where we're aiming for."
Mindless of stepping on Inara's drying blood, Mal crowded close to the controls, refusing to believe what Jayne had said. "River was supposed to do what I told her," he said, head spinning.
"Well, she ain't. Taking us right into the darkest black."
Mal stumbled back a step, putting his hands on the wall to steady himself. He touched something sticky and jerked his hands away. His hands were covered in blood.
All the anger and pain he had came together into a hard ball in his chest, and River was the one that he focused on. He was captain of this ship, not some crazy slip of a girl. Not her.
Mal ran out of the shuttle, not hearing Jayne's question and not caring. He sprinted the length of the catwalk up to the bridge and slammed into the closed bridge door. "River!" he shouted, pounding on the door. "Open this door now!"
Looking in the glass, Mal could see River sitting in the co-pilot's seat. He could also see the large gun at her side. When will Jayne learn to keep his bunk locked?
"River!"
River stood and walked to the door. There was nothing hesitant about her as she touched the tiny intercom button by the door. "I am flying where you told her to go," she said, meeting Mal's eyes with angry certainty that matched his.
"I told you to go back where this happened!"
River shook her head. "You told her to go to where Inara came from, and that is where I am flying. They will make her well, make her whole."
"That's what your brother's doing, now set us back to where this happened, so we can find them what done this to her and kill them!"
River put her fingers on the glass window. "Simon can't fix her."
Mal's heartbeat threatened to burst out of his chest. "Yes, he--" He broke off when River closed her eyes. Mal swallowed everything he ever held dear then, everything he had ever hoped for. "Then find us an Alliance cruiser, she's a Companion, they'll fix her up."
"They can't fix this."
Mal gripped the handle on the door, the metal cutting into the flesh of his palm, his blood flowing over Inara's blood on his skin. "They have to. She can't..."
"She won't." River pressed her palm to the window, obscuring Mal's view. "I will take her to where she will become whole, and then I will rest."
Mal tried everything he could. He threatened, he cajoled, he pleaded. River didn't listen to him, and after a while she turned off the intercom and drifted back to the co-pilot seat. All the while, Serenity flew away from anyone that could help Inara, and Mal tasted despair in the air.
Finally, Mal gave up. He walked the ship, trying not to remember all the places he'd argued with Inara. They fought so often, disagreed about everything. He'd never been able to tell her what he thought, not really. He hadn't been able to admit it to himself, and now it was too late. Like everything else in his life, he'd lose her too.
Simon met him on the steps outside the infirmary. The doctor didn't say anything for a minute, and the loss in the man's face made Mal want to hit him. He was supposed to be the doctor, he was supposed to fix things. He'd fixed everyone else on this boat, so why not this time? Why not Inara?
"There are... internal injuries," Simon finally said. "She needs more medical attention than I can give her. Soon."
They didn't have soon. "Tell that to your sister."
Simon did a double-take. "What's going on?"
Mal shook his head. "Don't know. Where's Zoe?"
"She went up to the shuttle, Jayne wanted her to look at something," Simon said.
"You left her alone?" Mal asked, pointing into the infirmary.
"No, I didn't."
Mal hurried down the steps, but stopped just outside the infirmary door. Kaylee was sitting beside a barely conscious Inara, talking softly. "... and we've got the engines in top shape these days, so we'll get you someplace where they can heal you quick as a wink," the mechanic was saying as she stroked an unbruised part of Inara's arm.
The Companion's dark eyes were fixed on Kaylee's face as if she was the last solid thing in the world. Mal wanted to be in Kaylee's place, being the one Inara looked to, but he pushed that selfish urge down. Jayne was right, Inara didn't need to be seeing men right then.
"I can tell you a story, if you want," Kaylee pressed on. "Like those ones you told me, about fairies and magic."
Inara blinked, and slowly lifted her hand. Three of her fingers were in splints, and blood-spotted bandages ran the length of her arm, but she managed to reach up and touch Kaylee's throat.
"Oh!" Kaylee said, fumbling in her overalls pocket. "Do you want your necklace? I know you said I could wear it while you were gone, and I did for a bit, but then I took it off when River needed me in the engine room so I put it in here so it didn't get greasy. Do you want me to put it on you?" She held out her hand with the necklace cupped in her palm, the delicate golden chain spilling down on either side of her hand.
With aching slowness, Inara managed to curl Kaylee's fingers over the necklace.
"No," Kaylee said, voice thick with tears. "I ain't taking it, because you're going to be just fine." Inara made a noise in her throat, not quite a word. Kaylee hunched her shoulders, shaking. "I'll hold on to it for you until you're better," Kaylee whispered. "And then I'll give it back to you. Promise."
Mal walked away then. He couldn't do this, couldn't let Inara die because of some crazy fantasy of River's. He stopped in the cargo bay, wishing that Wash was still alive. He'd have been able to rig something to get them control of the ship, to override the bridge. But Wash was dead, and there wasn't anything to be bringing him back.
Zoe and Jayne found Mal sitting on a crate, staring at the gun in his hands. "Sir?" Mal didn't respond. Zoe continued. "You know how Jayne said we were heading into the black? We're not."
"What?" Mal said sharply, looking up.
"Where we're going, there shouldn't be a planet, but there is."
"That don't make sense," Mal said, holstering his gun.
"Tell me about it," Jayne muttered.
As usual, Zoe ignored him. "Remember that planet around six months ago? We were paid in silver?"
Silver. And Inara's necklace. For the first time since River's tortured voice had come over the intercom hours before, Mal felt a spark of hope in his chest. "We're going there?"
Zoe nodded. "I don't know how she's done it, but River's piloted us there faster than should be allowed. We'll be there in less than an hour."
It wasn't much, but it was enough. "There's people down there, maybe they have a hospital," Mal said, for once clinging to the tiny embers of hope.
"Maybe."
Mal closed his eyes for a second. "Get everything you got," he said, blinking hard. "Anything to be traded or bartered or sold, everything of worth. We give them anything they want."
"All but my guns," Jayne argued.
Breathing deep, Mal nodded. "All but the guns and the ship. Those we need."
"For?" Zoe asked.
Mal looked at her. "For what we're going to do after Inara's better." Or if she don't get better at all. He expected Zoe to argue, be the voice of reason, but she just nodded.
Of all the people on the ship, Zoe understood the best what Mal planned on doing.
~~~
When River put Serenity in orbit, instead of landing on the planet, Mal shouted at her over the intercom, not caring who heard. She waited until he stopped to breathe, then cut his intercom and spoke to him. "Take the shuttle."
"I ain't putting Inara back on that shuttle!" he shouted. River couldn't hear him, but she didn't have to.
"The mirror doesn't hold as many bad memories," River said.
Mal started swearing, until he noticed that Zoe and Jayne were lifting the crates in which they had put everything they could gather. "What--?"
"We ain't got time to argue with her," Zoe said, marching up the stairs to the spare shuttle.
Jayne hefted a box and went after Zoe. When he had cleared the landing, Mal saw Kaylee by the door, almost hidden. He didn't know what to say to her, but it didn't matter, for it seemed as if she had something to say to him. She crossed the floor of the cargo bay and held out her hand to him. "I heard what you all is doing," she said. "I said I'd watch it for her, but maybe you can use this." She tipped Inara's necklace into Mal's hand.
Mal closed his hand around the red and gold stone, feeling the warmth from Kaylee's skin in the jewel. "Thanks."
Kaylee shook her head. "No thanks. Just do it."
"We will," Mal promised. "Now, you go back and sit with Inara until it's time to go, you hear?"
Kaylee nodded, turning away.
Soon enough, the spare shuttle was loaded. Mal noted with irritation that River had loaded coordinates for a landing into the shuttle's computer. They should have just enough fuel to land, then break atmosphere to get back to Serenity.
Zoe and Jayne carried Inara's stretcher into the shuttle and laid it gently on the floor. Inara was semi-conscious, making odd sounds in her throat. Simon knelt beside his patient and immediately began setting up the IV.
While Simon was busy, Mal motioned to Zoe and Jayne. They stepped out onto the catwalk, out Simon's earshot. "While we're gone, you get River off that bridge," Mal said. "I don't care how, just get her off. When we get back, we're going back to finish this."
Zoe nodded, but Jayne was giving Mal an odd look. "You know she's armed and able to take down thirty Reavers when the mood strikes her?"
"There's two of you," Mal said shortly, taking the large gun that Jayne handed him. "Distract her." He whirled around and stomped back into the shuttle, almost tripping over Kaylee kneeling beside Inara.
"I'll see you when you get back," Kaylee was saying. "You'll be good as new."
"Kaylee," Simon said gently, laying his hand on her back. "We have to go now."
With one last smile at Inara, Kaylee stood. She gave Mal a hard look, something he never thought to see on Kaylee's face, before she walked out the shuttle door.
Mal sealed up the airlock on the door, then went over to the pilot's seat. He prepared the shuttle for takeoff, focusing on what lay in front of him, trying to pretend Inara wasn't dying less than five feet from him.
The shuttle eased away from the orbiting ship, and began its descent into the atmosphere.
The rush of friction on the outside of the shuttle drowned out all noise in the shuttle. Mal tried to make the ride as smooth as possible. "What are they going to do to her?" Simon asked.
Mal concentrated on holding the shuttle level. "Huh?"
"River. I heard you talking to Zoe and Jayne."
"So why did you do nothing?" Talking about River was easy, much easier than anything else. The shuttle slid into the lower atmosphere, and Mal kicked the thrusters into gear.
Simon came to stand beside Mal, out of reach. "River won't let either of them hurt her."
Mal supposed that was true. "When I get back up there, she's not going to be piloting my ship no longer, one way or another."
Simon fidgeted. "I don't agree with what my sister did--"
"Then we're in agreement," Mal interrupted. "Go back to your patient."
Simon didn't move. "I took some... samples," he said. Mal tightened his hands on the flight control and concentrated very hard on flying. "In case--"
"We ain't taking this to the authorities," Mal said. "We're dealing with this ourselves."
This time, Simon didn't respond.
~~~
The shuttle touched down in a sunlit meadow, too beautiful a day for this. It should have been raining, with clouds and thunder, not the prettiest day Mal had seen in a long time.
He stayed in the pilot's seat, sending out messages on the shuttle's communication system, and despairing when there was no response. It was as if there wasn't a person on the planet.
After a while, he couldn't take the silence any longer. He opened the airlock, letting the sweet smell of the spring air flow into the shadowed cabin. He tried to walk out onto the world, but something held him back. Some part of him knew that if he walked away, Inara would die. Instead, he sat on the edge of the shuttle door and wished he believed that some higher power would make this all a dream, a horrible nightmare that would end when he woke up.
"Mal."
The softness of Simon's voice was a condemnation. Mal had let this happen. He should have made sure River was flying the right way, should have done something to spare them all this mess.
"Mal, she wants to talk to you."
Quickly but carefully, Mal hurried to Inara's side. Her face was swollen, and there was something wrong with her throat beneath all those bandages, but her eyes were alert under the pain. Mal tried to smile, and wondered if she'd see through it. "Hey."
That was one of the things about Inara that Mal couldn't ever understand, how when she wasn't playing at being a Companion, she watched him with all of her attention. It was like being judged, most times. She didn't mean it like that now, but still, Mal judged himself, and found himself wanting.
"So. We, uh, come to find you some help." She blinked at him. " 'Cause that's what we're going to do."
He wanted to say a million things he'd never had time for, to say he was sorry for all that yelling he'd done at her, and how she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever know, and she was so much better than anything in their horrible, painful lives.
"So you just sit tight, and we'll find us a way out of this mess."
He knew she didn't believe him. He'd known when she'd tried to get Kaylee to take the necklace, the one that was currently burning a hole in his pocket. He thought about giving it to her then, but she'd just get upset with him for taking it away from Kaylee.
Time passed, and the communications system stayed silent. Inara's breathing grew more ragged, pained, but she'd become so agitated when Simon tried to dope her up that Mal made the doctor put the drugs away.
She was fading. Mal had seen it a hundred times, when the spirit was willing but the body was too badly damaged to live. It wasn't right and it wasn't fair, but there wasn't anything anyone could do.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, but he wasn't sure if she could hear him any more.
"Someone's coming," Simon said from the doorway, already on his feet. Mal joined him, staring out at the line of people on horseback that rode across the valley, heading right to them.
Mal stumbled outside the shuttle door, his hand near enough to his gun that he could grab it if need be, but he wasn't sure what good six bullets would do against over twenty men on horseback.
Not all men, he realized as they came closer. That woman, the short red-head who'd given Inara her necklace on the last go-around, she was right dead-center of the pack.
Half the riders swung ahead of the woman, setting up a line two deep between her and the shuttle. "Explain your presence!" called the man at the front of the group, the one with the strange silver hair and a very large gun.
"We've got wounded," Mal said, moving his hands out to the side. "Needing assistance."
The man stared down coldly at him. "You have assistance, up on your own worlds. This place is not for you!"
Behind the horses, the woman slid off her mount and threaded her way up to the front of the line, a man made of pure black, blacker than space, at her side. "Who is wounded?" the woman asked, pulling off her riding gloves.
"My queen--" someone started to say, but she flung up her hand and silence fell.
"This planet only appears to humans when we will it so, or when there is great need," she said sharply. She looked back at Mal. "Who is wounded?"
Mal took a deep breath and hoped that this woman would cut through all the mess and help them. "You met her last time we were here, Inara--"
He didn't have time to get out Inara's last name before the woman's eyes opened wide. "Hafwyn!" she shouted. A tall armored woman at the back of the pack jumped from her horse and ran forward. "Hafwyn is a healer," the woman said. "Take us to Inara."
The man made of darkness laid his hand on the woman's arm. "Merry, let the guards go first," he murmured.
Mal shook his head. "We ain't got time for that," he said, heading back to the shuttle. Simon backed up as Mal hurried inside and knelt by the stretcher. "Move!"
Simon plucked the IV bag from its perch and dropped it against Inara's elbow before he lifted his end of the stretcher. With more speed than grace, they maneuvered the stretcher out into the bright sunshine. Once they were a fair distance away from the shuttle, they laid the stretcher down, Simon going to his knees beside her. A moment later, the tall woman pulled off her helmet and dropped to Inara's other side.
"What happened?" Merry said, voice hard with powers Mal couldn't even begin to describe. "Who dared do this to her?"
Mal tried to watch what the doctor was doing to Inara, but found that he couldn't look away from Merry. Something about her eyes, strange eyes, held him. "We don't rightly know, we found her like this in space. She was..." The word stuck in his throat like tar. "Raped, hurt inside real bad."
"My queen, we must move her to the Sithen as soon as possible," Hafwyn said, long fingers tracing the air over the blankets. "She struggles, but even with her Sidhe blood, it may soon be too late."
"We will take her and heal her," Merry said. "Leave her with us."
"What?" Mal exploded. "We ain't leaving her! Just fix her and we'll go!"
"This is not the kind of thing we can fix in an instant," Merry said. Her eyes were haunted, and Mal found himself wondering if she'd lost someone like this before. "It will take time."
She held out her hand to him. He didn't know why he took it, but when he grasped her palm, the blocky ring on her finger let out a pulse of warmth, the kind of comfort and warmth that "home" was supposed to be, the kind that never really lasted. As if under a spell, Mal let Merry guide him to Inara's side, where they both knelt. Merry lifted Inara's hand and laid it atop Mal's, then grasped their hands together. The warmth from the ring spread out along Mal's whole body, feeling like a promise. Dimly, he wondered if Inara felt it too.
"We will return her to health, and you will return for her," Merry said, releasing their hands. Mal carefully laid Inara's hand across her stomach, watching her eyelids flutter closed.
"We..." He took a breath. "We can pay--"
"Shh," Merry said, motioning him to stand back. Two men came forward to pick up the stretcher. "We need no payment for this."
From the back of the pack came a woman, almost as tall as Mal himself, with long black hair and a face that so resembled Inara that Mal had to blink. The woman stared at Inara as the stretcher was carried past, horrified.
"Why not?" Mal asked, although he was starting to get an idea.
"She is our blood," the dark man murmured. He looked Mal full in the face, his eyes narrowed. "One does what one can, for family."
Mal nodded. "I'll be back for her," he promised.
There was nothing to do but go back to the shuttle and prepare for a return to the ship. Not really sure why he was doing what he was doing, Mal piloted the shuttle up, knowing Simon was sitting in the chair beside him, but not really caring until the ship broke atmo.
"Were we drugged?" Simon finally asked. "I didn't make sure they knew what they were doing, or tell them about Inara's blood type or any of it."
Mal kept a grip on the controls, unable to shake the feel that the ring had fed into him when he was touching Inara. "Don't rightly know," he said shortly.
"So why aren't we going back down to set this right?"
Mal didn't answer as he swung the shuttle around to dock with Serenity. As soon as the shuttle was docked, he was on his feet and headed for the door.
Zoe and Jayne were standing there, both looking healthy. "Where's River?" Mal demanded, stomping down the stairs to the catwalk.
Jayne gestured over his shoulder with his head. "Shut herself up good in the other shuttle, crying and carrying on. Didn't threaten to shoot us or nothing."
Wordlessly, Simon dropped his medical bag and ran toward Inara's shuttle on the other side of the ship.
"You find someone to help Inara?" Zoe asked.
"We did," Mal asked, staring across the cargo bay. "We're to be coming back to get her."
"When?"
"When she's better," Mal said. He turned toward the bridge, Zoe at his side. "In the meantime, we've got some business to do."
"About that..." Mal swung around on Zoe. He knew that tone. "While you were gone, we found something in Inara's shuttle. An independent emergency signal, not hooked up to any of the ship-board communications systems. It had been set off before she docked."
"What was in it?"
"Location," Zoe said. "Place of her last job, client details, everything. Kaylee thinks it was directed for Sihnon, where the Companion Guild is located."
"I know where it is," Mal bit out. He remembered what Jayne said, about overhearing how no client had killed a Companion in a hundred years, and found himself wondering who that message was meant for. "But we got a location?"
"Yes, sir."
Mal paused to run his hand through his hair. "We're going there, to finish this up. Keep an eye on the Cortex, see if any strange deaths pop up there in the next bit." Zoe raised an eyebrow at him, but didn't say anything as she headed down the stairs. If the message had gone to the Companion Guild, then maybe they'd take care of those tyen-sah duh uh-muo that had done this to Inara. If not, well, Mal supposed he and Jayne and Zoe could deal with whoever had dared hurt Inara.
Mal shook his hand out, wondering when the sensation from the ring was going to leave him alone. Walking down the corridor to the bridge, he almost missed Kaylee sitting in the shadows by the door to her bunk. He backtracked a few steps, and crouched beside her. "Kaylee?"
She looked up at him. "You left Inara?" she asked, voice heartbreakingly sad.
He made himself nod. "She's with people who'll take care of her, good people."
"I'm the one who's supposed to say that," she whispered. "You don't think no one's good."
"These people are," Mal said, not sure what had given him such unshakable certainty. It wasn't the woman with Inara's face, or the burning intensity in the dark man's eyes. It had to be the hot anger in Merry, that tiny queen, that anyone had dared lay a hand on Inara. It was so like Mal's anger that he knew it was real. "Here, you hold on to this." He drew the necklace out of his pocket and handed it to Kaylee. "You can give it back to Inara, soon as she's back."
Kaylee took the necklace and slowly got to her feet. "I'm going to go check on the engines," she said.
Mal stayed on the floor, watched as Kaylee dragged herself down the corridor. She jumped back, startled, when Simon appeared in front of her on the catwalk. He didn't say anything, but after a moment, Kaylee put her arms around him and clung to him. He held onto her with all he was worth, touching her as if she was precious. Mal couldn't see Simon's face, and for that he was grateful.
There had only been three other times in his life that Mal had known such certainty, the certainty that Inara's body would heal with those people on the planet, and that he would see her again: When he had told his mother on Shadow that one day he'd make her proud; when he had taken a bullet meant for Zoe in the war and knowing he'd done the right thing; and when he'd seen Serenity across the sandlot of a junkyard. He didn't believe in fate or miracles or magic, or just about anything, but he believed in that promise Merry had made, about Inara coming back home one day. He hadn't said goodbye, because he didn't mean for that to be the last time he saw her.
Then, maybe, he could tell her... he wasn't sure what he would tell her, but he'd have a place for her, some place she could be safe if she wanted it.
He made it to the bridge and draped his jacket over the pilot's chair, habit making him glance out the window. What he didn't see made him pull up short, hands frozen mid-air.
The ship hadn't moved from orbit, but the planet was gone.
Mal stared out at the blackness for a long time.
end part I
Promises Part I
by![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
mhalachaiswords
by
mhalachaiswordsSummary: When everything falls apart and the people you love are dying, you need to go back to where it all began...
Disclaimer: The Firefly universe belongs to Joss Whedon et al. Merry Gentry belongs to Laurell K. Hamilton. I'm only borrowing and will return them at the end of the fic.
Rating: R. Please note this is a dark story, dealing with issues of off-screen violence and rape.
Author's Note: A follow-up to my Firefly/Merry Gentry crossovers, Secrets and Stories. This story is set in the Firefly timeline (after Serenity), referencing Merry Gentry stuff. This is not a pairing fic, but deals with the relationship between Mal and Inara.
Word count: 7,251
Phonetic Chinese: Tyen-sah duh uh-muo -- Goddamn monsters. Wuo duh ma -- Mother of Jesus. Source is the FireflyWiki.
Mal and Zoe were working on the mule in the cargo bay with Kaylee, Simon watching from the stairs, when River's voice drifted hauntingly over the intercom.
"Simon?" The word was thick with tears, uncertain and fragile. Everyone froze in that instant, then Simon shot to his feet. But before he could do anything, the intercom was filled with a ragged breath, a gulp. "Simon, you have to go to the infirmary and get it ready," she said, voice stronger.
"What..." Simon said. There was no way River could have heard him, but that never mattered with River.
"You have to go now and get it ready. Then get Jayne and a stretcher."
"What the hell for?" Mal demanded as he strode to the intercom. His hand was almost to the button when River spoke over the intercom, but not to anyone on the ship.
"Inara? Can you hear me? It's Serenity."
Mal's stomach dropped. Inara was out on a job, was supposed to meet the ship back in the black in a day or so. She wasn't supposed to be back now, not when River was telling Simon there was a need for doctoring. He stepped back from the intercom, seeing Kaylee's frightened face out of the corner of his eye, but for once it didn't matter.
"Inara, we'll be there for you soon." As River spoke, the engines revved up to a screaming pitch, and the ship swung around.
Mal looked at Kaylee. Everyone on that ship had been through much too think that River was playing around. If she was, though, Mal was going to tan that girl's hide. She has to be playing around. "Kaylee..."
As Mal watched, Kaylee swallowed her fears and put down her wrench with shaking fingers. "Anything River wants," she said, running for the engine room. Simon watched Kaylee go, then stepped down the stairs toward the infirmary without a word.
Seeing Simon go without an argument chilled Mal down to the bone. Simon knew River best and he would know if there might be any hint this was a joke, or some crazy dream of hers.
As usual, it was Zoe who dragged Mal back. "Sir? What are we going to do?"
We're going to do the job, and right now the job's finding out what the hell happened to Inara. "C'mon," Mal muttered, taking the stairs up to the bridge two at a time. Zoe's light footsteps followed him.
River sat bolt upright in Wash's old chair, her eyes half-closed as she maneuvered switches and buttons, coaxing Serenity into the fastest speed the ship could handle. It wasn't until Mal stumbled by the fore-ladder and had to catch himself on the console that he saw the drying tear tracks on River's cheeks.
"What's going on?" he demanded.
River's fingers danced steadily over the controls, not showing any hint of the trembling that ran through her body.
"River!"
"River, we need to know what we're going up against," Zoe said, giving Mal a look. "We need to know what's out there so we don't go in blind, and you're the only one who knows."
River shook her head. "Not blind, it's not dark yet," she said, her breath hitching up in a sob. Her hand paused over the thruster controls, then moved away. "We're coming, Inara, don't go dark, we're coming."
Zoe was looking at readouts on the ship's screens. "Looks like we'll be at her location in about fifteen minutes, sir," she said. "If River doesn't burn the engines out."
"I won't burn out," River said, her eyes fully closed now. "Kaylee keeps me whole, my engines solid, like ice in winter."
Heavy footsteps pounded up into the bridge. "What are we doing?" Jayne growled. Mal looked at him, just looked, but Jayne took a step back. "We aiming to do some killing?"
A horrible idea exploded in Mal's mind. They were far away from Reaver space, but a single ship with only one person--
"Not Reavers," River said. Her dark eyes opened, staring out into the black. "Reavers have no reason and that is a Reaver's reason, there was no reasoning and no rational and no refuge. Not Reavers."
Simon ran onto the bridge, panting. "I've got everything in order, but for what?" he said.
Mal pushed himself off the console. "Don't know. Jayne, Zoe, get armed and get to the shuttle doors. Once Inara's docked, we're going into that shuttle."
"Can Inara dock the shuttle?" Zoe asked quietly. "If she's as hurt as River's making her out to be..."
"Inara can do it," Mal said.
"Yeah, well, what if she can't?" Jayne asked. "We need suiting up?"
"No!" River shouted, startling everyone. "No time, no second chances, no no no!"
Simon tried to touch his sister's shoulder, but she shrugged him off, intent on flying. "River--"
"She can do it," River whispered. "She has to do it." As Mal motioned everyone to get moving, he heard River say in a tiny voice, "She doesn't want to die alone."
Mal, Zoe and Jayne stood in front of the airlock to Inara's shuttle, waiting in dead silence. Simon busied himself behind them, checking over medical supplies.
"Inara, it's Serenity," River said, her gentle voice carrying loudly over the intercom. "You're almost home."
Mal's grip tightened on the butt of his gun.
"You have to do one more thing for me so I can bring you in. You have to enter the auto-docking sequence into the computer." A pause. "I know it hurts, I know it's hard, but you have to help me. You're almost home."
As much as River's voice dragged at Mal's mind, her silences were even worse.
"Not that button, the one beside it," River whispered after a minute. "Then you have to cut the thrusters." River's sharp gasp made everybody jump. "No, no, no! Inara!" River was screaming into the intercom, too loud. "Cold isn't real, nothing's real, it's in your head and it's imagination and body isn't real!"
Serenity began to slow, the tell-tale whine of the thrusters kicking in meaning that River was flying without the computers.
Zoe looked at Mal. "If she's even the slightest bit off at this speed, that shuttle will crash into us and fly apart."
"Ain't going to happen," Mal said, glaring at the airlock as if he could make that shuttle dock with his force of will alone.
The deep sound of metal on metal thrummed though the floor beneath them, then the hissing sound as the airlock sealed.
"You're home," River whispered, and began singing what sounded like a lullaby in a language Mal didn't know.
Now that the shuttle was docked, Mal didn't want to go in there, didn't want to know what had made River crazy, didn't want to know what had happened to Inara. Didn't want that piece of his life taken away from him.
Zoe was the first up the steps with Jayne covering her back. She punched the code to open the airlock, then took cover behind the wall as the door slid open. The smell of blood rushed out of the shuttle, and for a moment Mal wasn't on Serenity, he was in Serenity, Serenity Valley, with his men dying around him, abandoned by everybody and everything and every god there ever was.
Not this time. Mal went up the steps and through the door, his gun aimed and ready for anything that moved, Zoe at his side as always, and Jayne right behind them.
The bed was neatly made. There was no logical sense as to why the bed should have been messy, but it was tidy. There was no blood in sight, but still the scent of it filled the air. Where was Inara?
Slowly, as if caught in the nightmare, Mal looked toward the curtain that hid the cockpit. It hung crooked, ripped on the bottom. Blood was smeared on the ground underneath the curtain, as if some hurt animal had dragged itself there.
"Inara?" Zoe called, her gun aimed steadily at the curtain. "It's us."
Jayne moved to follow Zoe, but Mal put his arm out to stop the other man. It took him a few tries to be able to speak. "Go help Simon with the stretcher."
Jayne didn't argue. Mal wanted Jayne to argue, like he always did, to make this like any other job. But Jayne didn't argue.
Zoe used her free hand to draw the edge of the curtain back, gun aimed at waist level. She pulled the curtain back as far as it would go, but still Mal couldn't see Inara.
Then Zoe went pale and lowered her gun, and Mal didn't want to see what she saw.
"Inara?" Zoe said in the voice she usually reserved for wounded animals and traumatized children. "We're going to help you."
She holstered her gun as she knelt, hands held out. Mal put his gun away and took a step forward, and suddenly he could see everything.
This was where the smell of the blood came from, soaking the pilot's chair, the floor, the blanket that lay off to one side, Inara's dress. Zoe knelt in that blood, murmuring to Inara under her breath, fingers pushing blood-soaked hair off the Companion's bruised and beaten face.
Mal couldn't do anything but look. The dress was ripped to rags, by hands or by a knife, he couldn't tell. Inara must have fallen off the chair, that was the only way to explain why she lay like a crumpled doll, broken and fragile on the ground, one bent leg bare all the way up to her hip, darkening hand-shaped bruises and gashes leaving no question in Mal's mind as to what had happened.
The clatter behind them all, at the entrance of the shuttle, told Mal that the doctor was coming with a stretcher.
And Jayne.
Suddenly, it was the most important thing in the 'verse to Mal that Jayne not see Inara like this. He managed to get out the words, "Cover her."
Zoe looked around at him, and he didn't know what she saw in his face, but she gently pulled down the ripped skirt over Inara's thigh.
Simon appeared, pushing Mal to the side as if he wasn't there. "Zoe, I need you to move," he said, voice crisp and professional and so damned alien that Mal wanted to hit him. "Inara, it's Simon, I'm going to examine you quickly."
Mal couldn't watch, didn't want Inara to know he'd seen her like this. He turned away, only to see Jayne standing there, gawking, stretcher under his arm.
Mal probably would have done something stupid to make Jayne stop, to make him look away, not see Inara like this, when a tiny voice sounded from the door of the shuttle, making everyone freeze. "Inara?"
It was Kaylee.
Mal was moving before the word had even left Kaylee's mouth. He stopped her in the door of the shuttle, turned her bodily around and pushed her out onto the catwalk.
"But Captain--"
"No buts, Kaylee, Inara's being tended to." He gave her a shove that sent her stumbling. "You ain't going in there."
"She's my friend!"
"I know that!" Mal shouted. Kaylee jumped back, and Mal only then saw that her eyes were red with crying. "Kaylee, you go on now, back to the engine room, get her ready for full burn."
Kaylee pulled herself upright. "Where are we going?"
Mal didn't answer.
Something hard settled on Kaylee's face, aging her as Mal watched. "I'll have her ready in a few minutes," she said, stumbling away.
Taking deep breaths of the stale air, clean of blood, did nothing to calm the feelings running furiously in his chest. He couldn't wait for Zoe and Simon to bring down the stretcher with Inara on it. Instead, he went to the bridge. River was swaying back and forth in the chair, hands still.
"Turn us around," Mal said in a ragged voice. River turned her head to him. "You turn us around and you take us to where she came from." River didn't move. "You take us there now!"
Deliverable, River lifted her hands from her lap and began to lay in the course. Mal spun on his heel and stormed down the catwalk as the ship's engines lifted up into a whine.
Zoe and Jayne were carrying Inara on the stretcher down to the infirmary. Someone had draped one of Inara's delicate silks over her body, hiding the ripped dress. Mal hung back until they had left the catwalk, then made himself follow. Inara had been strong enough to pilot the shuttle back to meet Serenity, even after what happened. She didn't deserve anything less from anyone on board.
Simon moved around the infirmary with that strange professionalism, attaching monitors to Inara's hands and neck. His back turned slightly, he said, "Zoe, I need your help."
Jayne finished stowing the stretcher on the wall. "She need blood?" he asked.
Simon didn't look up. "Maybe. Stay close."
"What?" Mal demanded.
"Inara and Jayne both have type B negative blood," Simon explained as he slid the spray-needle into Inara's neck, watching with satisfaction as her eyelids fluttered and the lines of pain on her face eased. "She may need a transfusion. I cross-typed everyone months ago, in case of an emergency."
Jayne nodded and strode to the door. "Come on," he said to Mal.
Mal didn't move, keeping his eyes on Simon. Something on the monitors made the doctor frown. "Doc?" Mal said.
Simon spun around, grabbing an instrument off the side counter in a graceful move. "Everybody who's not helping needs to get out," he said, too calmly for his frantic actions as he pulled back the silk covering and began cutting off Inara's dress.
Jayne grabbed Mal's arm and physically pulled him out of the infirmary. Zoe slammed the door between them and latched it. A red-hot anger burned in Mal and he whirled on Jayne, grabbing the taller man by the shirt and shoving him hard up against the bulkhead. "This is my ship," Mal said between clenched teeth. "Nobody tells me where to go on my ship."
Jayne didn't fight back. "You weren't doing no good in there."
"What the wuo duh ma hell do you know about it?"
Jayne just stared until Mal let him go. Mal paced across the lounge, then kicked at the table so hard it broke in two. "We got stuff to do," Jayne said, adjusting his shirt. "Let the Doc tend to her, she wouldn't be wanting to see us menfolk anyway."
The mercenary stomped up the stairs, very carefully not looking in the glass windows of the infirmary.
"Jayne," Mal said, stopping the other man in place. "Why are you doing this?" She isn't anything to you.
Jayne shrugged and continued up the stairs. "I ain't doing no less for her than I done for my sister, Mattie," he said, voice as full of anger as Mal had ever heard.
Mal didn't ask any more questions.
Going back into the shuttle wasn't any better, knowing what was in there. Jayne had his gun out, just in case, and was rifling through things while Mal hesitated in the doorway. How many times had Inara told him to get out of her shuttle? Never to come in without permission?
Jayne pulled back the blanket on the bed, to reveal pure white sheets. "Bed's clean," he said. "So's the floor. Didn't happen in here. Musta happened dirtside."
Mal took a step into the room, wondering when the blood would lose that fresh smell. "She'd gone to meet a client."
The mercenary moved to the cockpit, pushing the curtain back with a careless hand and turning on all the lights, marring the soft and deliberate lines Inara had arranged so carefully in the shuttle. "This wasn't no client who done this." He brought up the shuttle's navigation computer and flipped back to the last flight pattern,
Memories of Atherton Wing danced in Mal's vision. "You don't know that."
"Yeah, I do." Jayne poked at the keys with one finger. "Inara was telling Kaylee something about choosing clients and how it was all 'psychology' and 'feelings'. Sounds like a buncha bull, but she told Kaylee that there ain't been a Companion murdered by a client in a hundred years."
"And?"
Jayne gave Mal a look. "And I was listening in." He frowned back at the controls. "Where did you tell that crazy girl to steer the ship?"
Things were skipping about in Mal's head, and he had to think too hard to answer Jayne's question. "To go back to where Inara came from."
Jayne stabbed a finger at the screen. "That's over here." He moves his finger to the far side of the screen. "This is where we're aiming for."
Mindless of stepping on Inara's drying blood, Mal crowded close to the controls, refusing to believe what Jayne had said. "River was supposed to do what I told her," he said, head spinning.
"Well, she ain't. Taking us right into the darkest black."
Mal stumbled back a step, putting his hands on the wall to steady himself. He touched something sticky and jerked his hands away. His hands were covered in blood.
All the anger and pain he had came together into a hard ball in his chest, and River was the one that he focused on. He was captain of this ship, not some crazy slip of a girl. Not her.
Mal ran out of the shuttle, not hearing Jayne's question and not caring. He sprinted the length of the catwalk up to the bridge and slammed into the closed bridge door. "River!" he shouted, pounding on the door. "Open this door now!"
Looking in the glass, Mal could see River sitting in the co-pilot's seat. He could also see the large gun at her side. When will Jayne learn to keep his bunk locked?
"River!"
River stood and walked to the door. There was nothing hesitant about her as she touched the tiny intercom button by the door. "I am flying where you told her to go," she said, meeting Mal's eyes with angry certainty that matched his.
"I told you to go back where this happened!"
River shook her head. "You told her to go to where Inara came from, and that is where I am flying. They will make her well, make her whole."
"That's what your brother's doing, now set us back to where this happened, so we can find them what done this to her and kill them!"
River put her fingers on the glass window. "Simon can't fix her."
Mal's heartbeat threatened to burst out of his chest. "Yes, he--" He broke off when River closed her eyes. Mal swallowed everything he ever held dear then, everything he had ever hoped for. "Then find us an Alliance cruiser, she's a Companion, they'll fix her up."
"They can't fix this."
Mal gripped the handle on the door, the metal cutting into the flesh of his palm, his blood flowing over Inara's blood on his skin. "They have to. She can't..."
"She won't." River pressed her palm to the window, obscuring Mal's view. "I will take her to where she will become whole, and then I will rest."
Mal tried everything he could. He threatened, he cajoled, he pleaded. River didn't listen to him, and after a while she turned off the intercom and drifted back to the co-pilot seat. All the while, Serenity flew away from anyone that could help Inara, and Mal tasted despair in the air.
Finally, Mal gave up. He walked the ship, trying not to remember all the places he'd argued with Inara. They fought so often, disagreed about everything. He'd never been able to tell her what he thought, not really. He hadn't been able to admit it to himself, and now it was too late. Like everything else in his life, he'd lose her too.
Simon met him on the steps outside the infirmary. The doctor didn't say anything for a minute, and the loss in the man's face made Mal want to hit him. He was supposed to be the doctor, he was supposed to fix things. He'd fixed everyone else on this boat, so why not this time? Why not Inara?
"There are... internal injuries," Simon finally said. "She needs more medical attention than I can give her. Soon."
They didn't have soon. "Tell that to your sister."
Simon did a double-take. "What's going on?"
Mal shook his head. "Don't know. Where's Zoe?"
"She went up to the shuttle, Jayne wanted her to look at something," Simon said.
"You left her alone?" Mal asked, pointing into the infirmary.
"No, I didn't."
Mal hurried down the steps, but stopped just outside the infirmary door. Kaylee was sitting beside a barely conscious Inara, talking softly. "... and we've got the engines in top shape these days, so we'll get you someplace where they can heal you quick as a wink," the mechanic was saying as she stroked an unbruised part of Inara's arm.
The Companion's dark eyes were fixed on Kaylee's face as if she was the last solid thing in the world. Mal wanted to be in Kaylee's place, being the one Inara looked to, but he pushed that selfish urge down. Jayne was right, Inara didn't need to be seeing men right then.
"I can tell you a story, if you want," Kaylee pressed on. "Like those ones you told me, about fairies and magic."
Inara blinked, and slowly lifted her hand. Three of her fingers were in splints, and blood-spotted bandages ran the length of her arm, but she managed to reach up and touch Kaylee's throat.
"Oh!" Kaylee said, fumbling in her overalls pocket. "Do you want your necklace? I know you said I could wear it while you were gone, and I did for a bit, but then I took it off when River needed me in the engine room so I put it in here so it didn't get greasy. Do you want me to put it on you?" She held out her hand with the necklace cupped in her palm, the delicate golden chain spilling down on either side of her hand.
With aching slowness, Inara managed to curl Kaylee's fingers over the necklace.
"No," Kaylee said, voice thick with tears. "I ain't taking it, because you're going to be just fine." Inara made a noise in her throat, not quite a word. Kaylee hunched her shoulders, shaking. "I'll hold on to it for you until you're better," Kaylee whispered. "And then I'll give it back to you. Promise."
Mal walked away then. He couldn't do this, couldn't let Inara die because of some crazy fantasy of River's. He stopped in the cargo bay, wishing that Wash was still alive. He'd have been able to rig something to get them control of the ship, to override the bridge. But Wash was dead, and there wasn't anything to be bringing him back.
Zoe and Jayne found Mal sitting on a crate, staring at the gun in his hands. "Sir?" Mal didn't respond. Zoe continued. "You know how Jayne said we were heading into the black? We're not."
"What?" Mal said sharply, looking up.
"Where we're going, there shouldn't be a planet, but there is."
"That don't make sense," Mal said, holstering his gun.
"Tell me about it," Jayne muttered.
As usual, Zoe ignored him. "Remember that planet around six months ago? We were paid in silver?"
Silver. And Inara's necklace. For the first time since River's tortured voice had come over the intercom hours before, Mal felt a spark of hope in his chest. "We're going there?"
Zoe nodded. "I don't know how she's done it, but River's piloted us there faster than should be allowed. We'll be there in less than an hour."
It wasn't much, but it was enough. "There's people down there, maybe they have a hospital," Mal said, for once clinging to the tiny embers of hope.
"Maybe."
Mal closed his eyes for a second. "Get everything you got," he said, blinking hard. "Anything to be traded or bartered or sold, everything of worth. We give them anything they want."
"All but my guns," Jayne argued.
Breathing deep, Mal nodded. "All but the guns and the ship. Those we need."
"For?" Zoe asked.
Mal looked at her. "For what we're going to do after Inara's better." Or if she don't get better at all. He expected Zoe to argue, be the voice of reason, but she just nodded.
Of all the people on the ship, Zoe understood the best what Mal planned on doing.
When River put Serenity in orbit, instead of landing on the planet, Mal shouted at her over the intercom, not caring who heard. She waited until he stopped to breathe, then cut his intercom and spoke to him. "Take the shuttle."
"I ain't putting Inara back on that shuttle!" he shouted. River couldn't hear him, but she didn't have to.
"The mirror doesn't hold as many bad memories," River said.
Mal started swearing, until he noticed that Zoe and Jayne were lifting the crates in which they had put everything they could gather. "What--?"
"We ain't got time to argue with her," Zoe said, marching up the stairs to the spare shuttle.
Jayne hefted a box and went after Zoe. When he had cleared the landing, Mal saw Kaylee by the door, almost hidden. He didn't know what to say to her, but it didn't matter, for it seemed as if she had something to say to him. She crossed the floor of the cargo bay and held out her hand to him. "I heard what you all is doing," she said. "I said I'd watch it for her, but maybe you can use this." She tipped Inara's necklace into Mal's hand.
Mal closed his hand around the red and gold stone, feeling the warmth from Kaylee's skin in the jewel. "Thanks."
Kaylee shook her head. "No thanks. Just do it."
"We will," Mal promised. "Now, you go back and sit with Inara until it's time to go, you hear?"
Kaylee nodded, turning away.
Soon enough, the spare shuttle was loaded. Mal noted with irritation that River had loaded coordinates for a landing into the shuttle's computer. They should have just enough fuel to land, then break atmosphere to get back to Serenity.
Zoe and Jayne carried Inara's stretcher into the shuttle and laid it gently on the floor. Inara was semi-conscious, making odd sounds in her throat. Simon knelt beside his patient and immediately began setting up the IV.
While Simon was busy, Mal motioned to Zoe and Jayne. They stepped out onto the catwalk, out Simon's earshot. "While we're gone, you get River off that bridge," Mal said. "I don't care how, just get her off. When we get back, we're going back to finish this."
Zoe nodded, but Jayne was giving Mal an odd look. "You know she's armed and able to take down thirty Reavers when the mood strikes her?"
"There's two of you," Mal said shortly, taking the large gun that Jayne handed him. "Distract her." He whirled around and stomped back into the shuttle, almost tripping over Kaylee kneeling beside Inara.
"I'll see you when you get back," Kaylee was saying. "You'll be good as new."
"Kaylee," Simon said gently, laying his hand on her back. "We have to go now."
With one last smile at Inara, Kaylee stood. She gave Mal a hard look, something he never thought to see on Kaylee's face, before she walked out the shuttle door.
Mal sealed up the airlock on the door, then went over to the pilot's seat. He prepared the shuttle for takeoff, focusing on what lay in front of him, trying to pretend Inara wasn't dying less than five feet from him.
The shuttle eased away from the orbiting ship, and began its descent into the atmosphere.
The rush of friction on the outside of the shuttle drowned out all noise in the shuttle. Mal tried to make the ride as smooth as possible. "What are they going to do to her?" Simon asked.
Mal concentrated on holding the shuttle level. "Huh?"
"River. I heard you talking to Zoe and Jayne."
"So why did you do nothing?" Talking about River was easy, much easier than anything else. The shuttle slid into the lower atmosphere, and Mal kicked the thrusters into gear.
Simon came to stand beside Mal, out of reach. "River won't let either of them hurt her."
Mal supposed that was true. "When I get back up there, she's not going to be piloting my ship no longer, one way or another."
Simon fidgeted. "I don't agree with what my sister did--"
"Then we're in agreement," Mal interrupted. "Go back to your patient."
Simon didn't move. "I took some... samples," he said. Mal tightened his hands on the flight control and concentrated very hard on flying. "In case--"
"We ain't taking this to the authorities," Mal said. "We're dealing with this ourselves."
This time, Simon didn't respond.
The shuttle touched down in a sunlit meadow, too beautiful a day for this. It should have been raining, with clouds and thunder, not the prettiest day Mal had seen in a long time.
He stayed in the pilot's seat, sending out messages on the shuttle's communication system, and despairing when there was no response. It was as if there wasn't a person on the planet.
After a while, he couldn't take the silence any longer. He opened the airlock, letting the sweet smell of the spring air flow into the shadowed cabin. He tried to walk out onto the world, but something held him back. Some part of him knew that if he walked away, Inara would die. Instead, he sat on the edge of the shuttle door and wished he believed that some higher power would make this all a dream, a horrible nightmare that would end when he woke up.
"Mal."
The softness of Simon's voice was a condemnation. Mal had let this happen. He should have made sure River was flying the right way, should have done something to spare them all this mess.
"Mal, she wants to talk to you."
Quickly but carefully, Mal hurried to Inara's side. Her face was swollen, and there was something wrong with her throat beneath all those bandages, but her eyes were alert under the pain. Mal tried to smile, and wondered if she'd see through it. "Hey."
That was one of the things about Inara that Mal couldn't ever understand, how when she wasn't playing at being a Companion, she watched him with all of her attention. It was like being judged, most times. She didn't mean it like that now, but still, Mal judged himself, and found himself wanting.
"So. We, uh, come to find you some help." She blinked at him. " 'Cause that's what we're going to do."
He wanted to say a million things he'd never had time for, to say he was sorry for all that yelling he'd done at her, and how she was the most beautiful woman he'd ever know, and she was so much better than anything in their horrible, painful lives.
"So you just sit tight, and we'll find us a way out of this mess."
He knew she didn't believe him. He'd known when she'd tried to get Kaylee to take the necklace, the one that was currently burning a hole in his pocket. He thought about giving it to her then, but she'd just get upset with him for taking it away from Kaylee.
Time passed, and the communications system stayed silent. Inara's breathing grew more ragged, pained, but she'd become so agitated when Simon tried to dope her up that Mal made the doctor put the drugs away.
She was fading. Mal had seen it a hundred times, when the spirit was willing but the body was too badly damaged to live. It wasn't right and it wasn't fair, but there wasn't anything anyone could do.
"I'm sorry," he whispered, but he wasn't sure if she could hear him any more.
"Someone's coming," Simon said from the doorway, already on his feet. Mal joined him, staring out at the line of people on horseback that rode across the valley, heading right to them.
Mal stumbled outside the shuttle door, his hand near enough to his gun that he could grab it if need be, but he wasn't sure what good six bullets would do against over twenty men on horseback.
Not all men, he realized as they came closer. That woman, the short red-head who'd given Inara her necklace on the last go-around, she was right dead-center of the pack.
Half the riders swung ahead of the woman, setting up a line two deep between her and the shuttle. "Explain your presence!" called the man at the front of the group, the one with the strange silver hair and a very large gun.
"We've got wounded," Mal said, moving his hands out to the side. "Needing assistance."
The man stared down coldly at him. "You have assistance, up on your own worlds. This place is not for you!"
Behind the horses, the woman slid off her mount and threaded her way up to the front of the line, a man made of pure black, blacker than space, at her side. "Who is wounded?" the woman asked, pulling off her riding gloves.
"My queen--" someone started to say, but she flung up her hand and silence fell.
"This planet only appears to humans when we will it so, or when there is great need," she said sharply. She looked back at Mal. "Who is wounded?"
Mal took a deep breath and hoped that this woman would cut through all the mess and help them. "You met her last time we were here, Inara--"
He didn't have time to get out Inara's last name before the woman's eyes opened wide. "Hafwyn!" she shouted. A tall armored woman at the back of the pack jumped from her horse and ran forward. "Hafwyn is a healer," the woman said. "Take us to Inara."
The man made of darkness laid his hand on the woman's arm. "Merry, let the guards go first," he murmured.
Mal shook his head. "We ain't got time for that," he said, heading back to the shuttle. Simon backed up as Mal hurried inside and knelt by the stretcher. "Move!"
Simon plucked the IV bag from its perch and dropped it against Inara's elbow before he lifted his end of the stretcher. With more speed than grace, they maneuvered the stretcher out into the bright sunshine. Once they were a fair distance away from the shuttle, they laid the stretcher down, Simon going to his knees beside her. A moment later, the tall woman pulled off her helmet and dropped to Inara's other side.
"What happened?" Merry said, voice hard with powers Mal couldn't even begin to describe. "Who dared do this to her?"
Mal tried to watch what the doctor was doing to Inara, but found that he couldn't look away from Merry. Something about her eyes, strange eyes, held him. "We don't rightly know, we found her like this in space. She was..." The word stuck in his throat like tar. "Raped, hurt inside real bad."
"My queen, we must move her to the Sithen as soon as possible," Hafwyn said, long fingers tracing the air over the blankets. "She struggles, but even with her Sidhe blood, it may soon be too late."
"We will take her and heal her," Merry said. "Leave her with us."
"What?" Mal exploded. "We ain't leaving her! Just fix her and we'll go!"
"This is not the kind of thing we can fix in an instant," Merry said. Her eyes were haunted, and Mal found himself wondering if she'd lost someone like this before. "It will take time."
She held out her hand to him. He didn't know why he took it, but when he grasped her palm, the blocky ring on her finger let out a pulse of warmth, the kind of comfort and warmth that "home" was supposed to be, the kind that never really lasted. As if under a spell, Mal let Merry guide him to Inara's side, where they both knelt. Merry lifted Inara's hand and laid it atop Mal's, then grasped their hands together. The warmth from the ring spread out along Mal's whole body, feeling like a promise. Dimly, he wondered if Inara felt it too.
"We will return her to health, and you will return for her," Merry said, releasing their hands. Mal carefully laid Inara's hand across her stomach, watching her eyelids flutter closed.
"We..." He took a breath. "We can pay--"
"Shh," Merry said, motioning him to stand back. Two men came forward to pick up the stretcher. "We need no payment for this."
From the back of the pack came a woman, almost as tall as Mal himself, with long black hair and a face that so resembled Inara that Mal had to blink. The woman stared at Inara as the stretcher was carried past, horrified.
"Why not?" Mal asked, although he was starting to get an idea.
"She is our blood," the dark man murmured. He looked Mal full in the face, his eyes narrowed. "One does what one can, for family."
Mal nodded. "I'll be back for her," he promised.
There was nothing to do but go back to the shuttle and prepare for a return to the ship. Not really sure why he was doing what he was doing, Mal piloted the shuttle up, knowing Simon was sitting in the chair beside him, but not really caring until the ship broke atmo.
"Were we drugged?" Simon finally asked. "I didn't make sure they knew what they were doing, or tell them about Inara's blood type or any of it."
Mal kept a grip on the controls, unable to shake the feel that the ring had fed into him when he was touching Inara. "Don't rightly know," he said shortly.
"So why aren't we going back down to set this right?"
Mal didn't answer as he swung the shuttle around to dock with Serenity. As soon as the shuttle was docked, he was on his feet and headed for the door.
Zoe and Jayne were standing there, both looking healthy. "Where's River?" Mal demanded, stomping down the stairs to the catwalk.
Jayne gestured over his shoulder with his head. "Shut herself up good in the other shuttle, crying and carrying on. Didn't threaten to shoot us or nothing."
Wordlessly, Simon dropped his medical bag and ran toward Inara's shuttle on the other side of the ship.
"You find someone to help Inara?" Zoe asked.
"We did," Mal asked, staring across the cargo bay. "We're to be coming back to get her."
"When?"
"When she's better," Mal said. He turned toward the bridge, Zoe at his side. "In the meantime, we've got some business to do."
"About that..." Mal swung around on Zoe. He knew that tone. "While you were gone, we found something in Inara's shuttle. An independent emergency signal, not hooked up to any of the ship-board communications systems. It had been set off before she docked."
"What was in it?"
"Location," Zoe said. "Place of her last job, client details, everything. Kaylee thinks it was directed for Sihnon, where the Companion Guild is located."
"I know where it is," Mal bit out. He remembered what Jayne said, about overhearing how no client had killed a Companion in a hundred years, and found himself wondering who that message was meant for. "But we got a location?"
"Yes, sir."
Mal paused to run his hand through his hair. "We're going there, to finish this up. Keep an eye on the Cortex, see if any strange deaths pop up there in the next bit." Zoe raised an eyebrow at him, but didn't say anything as she headed down the stairs. If the message had gone to the Companion Guild, then maybe they'd take care of those tyen-sah duh uh-muo that had done this to Inara. If not, well, Mal supposed he and Jayne and Zoe could deal with whoever had dared hurt Inara.
Mal shook his hand out, wondering when the sensation from the ring was going to leave him alone. Walking down the corridor to the bridge, he almost missed Kaylee sitting in the shadows by the door to her bunk. He backtracked a few steps, and crouched beside her. "Kaylee?"
She looked up at him. "You left Inara?" she asked, voice heartbreakingly sad.
He made himself nod. "She's with people who'll take care of her, good people."
"I'm the one who's supposed to say that," she whispered. "You don't think no one's good."
"These people are," Mal said, not sure what had given him such unshakable certainty. It wasn't the woman with Inara's face, or the burning intensity in the dark man's eyes. It had to be the hot anger in Merry, that tiny queen, that anyone had dared lay a hand on Inara. It was so like Mal's anger that he knew it was real. "Here, you hold on to this." He drew the necklace out of his pocket and handed it to Kaylee. "You can give it back to Inara, soon as she's back."
Kaylee took the necklace and slowly got to her feet. "I'm going to go check on the engines," she said.
Mal stayed on the floor, watched as Kaylee dragged herself down the corridor. She jumped back, startled, when Simon appeared in front of her on the catwalk. He didn't say anything, but after a moment, Kaylee put her arms around him and clung to him. He held onto her with all he was worth, touching her as if she was precious. Mal couldn't see Simon's face, and for that he was grateful.
There had only been three other times in his life that Mal had known such certainty, the certainty that Inara's body would heal with those people on the planet, and that he would see her again: When he had told his mother on Shadow that one day he'd make her proud; when he had taken a bullet meant for Zoe in the war and knowing he'd done the right thing; and when he'd seen Serenity across the sandlot of a junkyard. He didn't believe in fate or miracles or magic, or just about anything, but he believed in that promise Merry had made, about Inara coming back home one day. He hadn't said goodbye, because he didn't mean for that to be the last time he saw her.
Then, maybe, he could tell her... he wasn't sure what he would tell her, but he'd have a place for her, some place she could be safe if she wanted it.
He made it to the bridge and draped his jacket over the pilot's chair, habit making him glance out the window. What he didn't see made him pull up short, hands frozen mid-air.
The ship hadn't moved from orbit, but the planet was gone.
Mal stared out at the blackness for a long time.
