FIC: Wrong Side of the Door (AB)
Sep. 9th, 2006 01:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mhalachaiIn response to this post, the first of the Anita Blake fanfics. It's not a long one, and is centred on Jean-Claude.
Summary: Jean-Claude reflects on the dangers to Anita that he was too blind to see.
Disclaimer: The Anita Blake universe belongs to Laurell K. Hamilton. I'm only borrowing and will return all at the end of the fic.
Characters: Jean-Claude
Rating: PG-13 for angst.
Word count: 676
Author's Note and spoilers: This arose from me trying to deal with issues from Danse Macabre, the latest Anita Blake book. As such, this story is one massive spoiler from that book.
~~~
He no longer dies, and he finds that he misses it.
Ever since Anita left the hospital, pale and trembling, her power skittering across the dark recesses of the night, he has felt her in his veins, calling him back from death as the sun rises above the horizon in the east.
She does not know. He knows he will pay a steep price once she learns of his deceit, but Anita is nothing if not practical, and he is confident he can bring her around to see the benefits of his power increase. He can gloss over not telling her. After these years, he has learned to manipulate Anita into his way of thinking, no matter how long it takes. After all, he has all the time in the world at his fingertips.
In the early days, he wandered the Circus, looking in on his vampires as they lay dead in their coffins. Even now, he spends some mornings drifting from room to room, watching over those whom he has sworn to protect. He often finds himself standing in the hallway outside of Asher's room, staring at the closed door.
He is there now.
He almost lost Anita. Not to the outside dangers of violence as he fears with every waking moment, to their enemies or to accident or to the random violence that permeates American society, but to a danger he refused to see, refused to acknowledge.
It is his fault that Anita almost died, for he knew Asher might do this. Once before, Asher let loose the control on his Hunger, bled Anita beyond the bounds of feeding. That time, dawn stopped Asher, leaving Anita weak and ill while their enemies were present, putting everyone in danger.
Jean-Claude had let his love for Asher and his guilt over Julianna blind him, ignored centuries of past history, knowing how many Asher killed in the throes of passion, how many lives destroyed for lust alone. He let it go, did not demand reparations for the injury to Anita, as he would from any other vampire in his kiss.
He touches the thick solid wood of Asher's door. There is no life within the room. Not yet.
When he became Master, he made a silent vow, sworn on Anita's honor, for a vampire such as himself has no right to speak to God. He swore he would not fall prey to the sin of self-delusion. He would not let himself be blind to his faults, would not follow in the footsteps of other powerful vampires. He would protect his people, all of them, as befit a true Master, and then later a Sourde de Sang.
Yet his love for Asher, his refusal to acknowledge Anita's fragility and mortality, ended with finding her boneless body, covered in her own blood and a moment from death, in his own office. His office! A place where Anita should have been safe above all others, yet he was on the wrong side of the door to aid her, to prevent her harm.
He lets his breath out, lays his cheek against the door. He is still on the wrong side of the door.
He tells himself that he had a myriad of reasons to not kill Asher. As Master, he must protect his people. If Anita had died, it would have been likely that he would have died as well, and only Asher is strong enough to hold the city in his absence. He also tells himself that if he killed Asher, Anita would never have forgiven him, even though Asher almost bled her dry in the place she should have been safe.
Watching Anita lie on the hospital bed, her heartbeat sluggish, her skin the color of the pale sheets as they slowly transfused Nathaniel's blood into her veins, he made another vow. Never again would he let his own heart, his blindness and his ignorance, endanger Anita. Nothing would ever again be allowed to harm her.
It is weeks later, and he finds he cannot open the door.
--fin
Wrong Side of the Door
An Anita Blake fanfiction story by![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
mhalachaiswords
An Anita Blake fanfiction story by
mhalachaiswordsSummary: Jean-Claude reflects on the dangers to Anita that he was too blind to see.
Disclaimer: The Anita Blake universe belongs to Laurell K. Hamilton. I'm only borrowing and will return all at the end of the fic.
Characters: Jean-Claude
Rating: PG-13 for angst.
Word count: 676
Author's Note and spoilers: This arose from me trying to deal with issues from Danse Macabre, the latest Anita Blake book. As such, this story is one massive spoiler from that book.
He no longer dies, and he finds that he misses it.
Ever since Anita left the hospital, pale and trembling, her power skittering across the dark recesses of the night, he has felt her in his veins, calling him back from death as the sun rises above the horizon in the east.
She does not know. He knows he will pay a steep price once she learns of his deceit, but Anita is nothing if not practical, and he is confident he can bring her around to see the benefits of his power increase. He can gloss over not telling her. After these years, he has learned to manipulate Anita into his way of thinking, no matter how long it takes. After all, he has all the time in the world at his fingertips.
In the early days, he wandered the Circus, looking in on his vampires as they lay dead in their coffins. Even now, he spends some mornings drifting from room to room, watching over those whom he has sworn to protect. He often finds himself standing in the hallway outside of Asher's room, staring at the closed door.
He is there now.
He almost lost Anita. Not to the outside dangers of violence as he fears with every waking moment, to their enemies or to accident or to the random violence that permeates American society, but to a danger he refused to see, refused to acknowledge.
It is his fault that Anita almost died, for he knew Asher might do this. Once before, Asher let loose the control on his Hunger, bled Anita beyond the bounds of feeding. That time, dawn stopped Asher, leaving Anita weak and ill while their enemies were present, putting everyone in danger.
Jean-Claude had let his love for Asher and his guilt over Julianna blind him, ignored centuries of past history, knowing how many Asher killed in the throes of passion, how many lives destroyed for lust alone. He let it go, did not demand reparations for the injury to Anita, as he would from any other vampire in his kiss.
He touches the thick solid wood of Asher's door. There is no life within the room. Not yet.
When he became Master, he made a silent vow, sworn on Anita's honor, for a vampire such as himself has no right to speak to God. He swore he would not fall prey to the sin of self-delusion. He would not let himself be blind to his faults, would not follow in the footsteps of other powerful vampires. He would protect his people, all of them, as befit a true Master, and then later a Sourde de Sang.
Yet his love for Asher, his refusal to acknowledge Anita's fragility and mortality, ended with finding her boneless body, covered in her own blood and a moment from death, in his own office. His office! A place where Anita should have been safe above all others, yet he was on the wrong side of the door to aid her, to prevent her harm.
He lets his breath out, lays his cheek against the door. He is still on the wrong side of the door.
He tells himself that he had a myriad of reasons to not kill Asher. As Master, he must protect his people. If Anita had died, it would have been likely that he would have died as well, and only Asher is strong enough to hold the city in his absence. He also tells himself that if he killed Asher, Anita would never have forgiven him, even though Asher almost bled her dry in the place she should have been safe.
Watching Anita lie on the hospital bed, her heartbeat sluggish, her skin the color of the pale sheets as they slowly transfused Nathaniel's blood into her veins, he made another vow. Never again would he let his own heart, his blindness and his ignorance, endanger Anita. Nothing would ever again be allowed to harm her.
It is weeks later, and he finds he cannot open the door.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-09-09 09:05 pm (UTC)So ... Can you take over writing the books?! *puppy dog eyes*
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Date: 2006-09-09 09:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-09 09:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-09 09:35 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-09 09:44 pm (UTC)I've got two more AB things to deal with issues raised in DM, that I hope to have time to write this week. It's always interesting, taking these new ideas I have and making them into coherent stories. Or at least semi-coherent.
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Date: 2006-09-09 09:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-09 10:00 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-09 10:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-09 10:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-09 10:22 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-09 10:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-09 10:27 pm (UTC)Plus, JC is cool.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-09 11:48 pm (UTC)Another wonderful fic, amazing as always!! ♥
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Date: 2006-09-10 12:31 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-10 12:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-10 01:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-10 01:10 am (UTC)Basically, he can't really win.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-10 01:12 am (UTC)And yes, I agree with the library thing 100%
no subject
Date: 2006-09-10 01:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-10 01:17 am (UTC)This topic was so poorly developed in the book, the end was so rushed...
DM was page after page of stolen formulaic cheap porn movie scenes, and little else. And where matters needed to be addressed *properly* (and there are *many* of those in DM), she did it in a very few lines, without rational explanation, violating the rules of her own universe, and many other etceteras.
You, on the other hand, made a very likely extrapolation of what JC's thoughts could have been. Congratulations for your wonderful work!
no subject
Date: 2006-09-10 03:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-10 04:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-10 04:31 am (UTC)I too think that he would choose Anita over Asher. I can see all the reasons for him not to kill Asher for what he has done, but there has got to be some kind of change in their relationship. I would also think that at some level, there would have to be a lack of trust, or rather a certain level of trust that JC himself would have to earn back from Anita. He knew this could happen, he should have protected her. Not to make her a victim, but still. He had to know. Her near death has had to affected all of them, and especially her trust in both of them and their self control or lack there of.
Can't wait for you to write more. :)
no subject
Date: 2006-09-10 07:47 am (UTC)DM was page after page of stolen formulaic cheap porn movie scenes
No, there's less whining in porn.
Anyway, I needed to deal with this issue, and there are two others that I am planning on writing. One to deal with the "the ardeur made me do it" with Jean-Claude and Nathaniel, and then something to make Anita's relationship with Nathaniel a little less one-dimensional. Because if I don't work through all my issues, I'll never write AB fic again.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-10 07:59 am (UTC)Writing these things helps me put together my "dealing" with the issues in DM. I am still trying to figure out how to deal with Anita's sudden nymphoness (let's fuck everything! damn the fact that enemies are in town). With Dawning Light, I tend to ignore it. Because there are some things that I just can't reconcile with the character I love.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-10 08:11 am (UTC)Her near death has had to affected all of them, and especially her trust in both of them and their self control or lack there of.
They should be. I will bet you $10, however, that by next book she'll have forgotten all about it. *cries*
no subject
Date: 2006-09-10 03:28 pm (UTC)The one I've been working on is from Nathaniel's perspective during and just after DM. He's come to the realization that no matter how much the ardeur interfered with things between Anita and himself, he does love her and is strong enough inside to take control of the situation when Anita cannot. She may be tough on the outside but emotional issues are certainly her weakness. Nathaniel understands the human psyche and is about to stage an intervention. He'll be more successful tricking her into therapy since he knows she would never kill him (intentionally, that is... the life-draining, on the other hand... topic for another day, I guess.)
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Date: 2006-09-10 05:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-10 05:46 pm (UTC)This is why we love your writing so much. You give us the evolution of the character as it should be. You don't shy away from the hard reality of what would happen to a person who has been faced with all that Anita has. How do they survive that and keep going. Can't wait to see.....
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Date: 2006-09-10 06:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-10 07:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-10 09:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-11 10:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-09-11 10:36 pm (UTC)Bam. Yes, Anita is a survivor, and though she has survivor's guilt most of the time, she's still moving forward. Now, at least, she has people who love her and will help her out, instead of her having to be in pain all by herself.
Really, most days Anita just needs a hug.
no subject
Date: 2006-09-11 10:40 pm (UTC)