Inevitable 74 preview: Stop Thinking (R)

[mhalachai]

Inevitable: Stop Thinking
An Inevitable preview
by mhalachaiswords

Summary: There's room for two in that shower, and as much as Anita doesn't want to be alone, she's not sure if going in to "comfort" Jason is a good idea.
Fandoms: Anita Blake and Harry Potter
Disclaimer: Laurell K. Hamilton owns all things Anita Blake. J.K. Rowling owns all things Harry Potter. Only the story is my own.
Rating: R for naked in showers
Warnings: Het, implied slash, nudity, spoilers for the published parts so far of Inevitable.
Words: 2,660
Note: This will be part of the next chapter of Inevitable, but I wanted to put out a little Anita/Jason because, and it's Inevitable, so... There you go. Set just after Harry storms out of the Hogwarts room at the end of chapter 73.

Previous parts here.

~~~~~~~

I stood staring at the door after Harry left. I hadn't wanted to let him leave, not with a crazy werewolf in the school and Elsa running around. And yet, with all of that, I hadn't been able to find the words to keep him here.

Behind me, Jason let out a long sigh. It was such an un-Jason-like sound that I turned. He was sitting on the bed, hunched in on himself, staring at the stains on his pants; dark red drying to brown on the pale fabric.

Jason's skin was whole and smooth under the drying blood on his chest, and every time I looked at him I saw the ruin of his body, flesh ripped apart on the cold stone floor. He'd been dying and there was nothing I could do about it.

The air was too thin to breathe. I kept trying to say something, anything to break that horrible silence, but no words would come out of my mouth.

Abruptly, Jason stood up. "I'm going to shower," he muttered, not looking at me. "I feel--" He broke off, swallowing hard, Adam's apple bobbing in his throat. "I've got to get this crap off me."

He hesitated for the briefest of moments, then his head fell a little lower and he vanished into the small bathroom attached to the suite. I stared after him, wishing I knew what do to, wishing that I could get the image of his slashed body out of my head. Images of seeing Nathaniel the same way, his beautiful body slashed to a bloody ruin on the carpet, pushed at me around the more recent memory of Jason.

I closed my eyes and forced myself to breathe deeply. I would not do this, I told myself fiercely. I did not have time to fall apart. Harry was in danger, we were all in danger in this insane place. I'd come to England to save Harry, and that was what I was going to do. Come hell or high water, I was going to protect him, even if it meant knocking him over the head and dragging him back to St. Louis with us.

I wasn't going to let anyone else get hurt. Not Harry, not Jason, no one. No more of my boys lying on the ground, bleeding to death, bodies slashed to ruin--

I put my hand over my mouth. A scream was bubbling beneath the surface, but I knew that if I started screaming, I'd never be able to stop. I had to be strong. Everyone needed me to be strong and that meant I couldn't fall apart. I had to get us home in one piece.

The faint sounds of the shower pulled me back to myself. I opened my eyes and blinked hard, taking in the cold stone walls, the ancient-looking tapestries, the bright sunlight pouring through the high window. As strange as everything looked, this was real, right now. Jason was in the shower and he was alive, safe, for now. I wasn't going to let anything happen to him again.

A faint brushing at my mind made me frown. "Jean-Claude?" I whispered. "Why are you up? It's only been an hour since sunrise."

The light touch in my mind turned to a sigh. "We are awash in power, ma petite," Jean-Claude told me softly. "Nathaniel has arrived here, and he holds some of your power in him. With his touch, I find myself growing stronger, almost as if you are here with me."

"Oh." I stared at the bright window, knowing that Jean-Claude could see the light through my eyes, the closest he would he ever come to walking in the sun. "Does he know about Jason?"

"Oui." Jean-Claude's voice grew sorrowful. "Jason is his friend, as Harry is his friend. He fears for all of you." In my mind's eye, I saw Nathaniel, lying beside Jean-Claude on Jean-Claude's bed. His shortened hair fell in his eyes as he stared off into space, worry in his beautiful eyes.

I ached to touch Nathaniel, to draw comfort from him. Instead, I wrapped my arms around my chest. I felt so alone. "Did Richard leave?"

"He did." Although Jean-Claude hadn't wanted for me to see the memory, we were too closely connected for him to keep me out of his mind. Nathaniel had explained when Jean-Claude awoke that Richard had stormed out when Nathaniel arrived at the Circus and stripped down to enter Jean-Claude's bed, to offer the power of that triumvirate in any way that he could.

I let out another breath, more annoyed than anything. "Is he trying to be a dick?" I demanded. "Nathaniel was just trying to help!"

"I know." Jean-Claude's mental caress was soft, almost like an embrace. "Ma petite, where is Jason?"

"In the shower," I mumbled. "He's fine, just getting clean."

The ensuing pause was a little too long. "He is alone?"

"He's safe," I said defensively. "There's no way into that room except through me."

"That is not what I meant," Jean-Claude told me. A world away, he stroked Nathaniel's hair. I watched, more than a little envious, as Nathaniel closed his eyes and the stress lines around his mouth began to smooth away. "Jason has been through so much, and he is not an alpha wolf."

"I know that." What was Jean-Claude getting at?

Jean-Claude's tone turned slightly exasperated. "For all his bravado, ma petite, Jason is very much a pack animal. He seeks comfort from others of his kind."

Unintentionally, I turned to look at the closed bathroom door. "Are you telling me what I think you're telling me?" I demanded, incredulity growing.

"Anita!" It took me a moment to realize that he had said my name out loud; Nathaniel looked up at Jean-Claude, frowning, then cuddled closer to the vampire. As he did so, I realized that both men were naked. Any other time, I'd have asked what the hell was going on, but I was still stuck on what Jean-Claude had suggested I do. "Jason is my wolf, as you are my human servant. He is my responsibility as much as--"

"Don't you dare say as much as I am! I'm responsible for myself!" I had no idea how we'd gotten into this argument, and no clue on how to make it go away. But it was easier for me to cling to any shred of anger than to deal with the panic and worry that lurked in the background.

"I was going to remind you that Jason's welfare is my responsibility as much as it is yours," Jean-Claude told me. He settled back onto the bed and drew Nathaniel with him, stroking Nathaniel's shoulders until my wereleopard relaxed against the sheets. "You are his Lupa, and that responsibility does not end with healing his physical wounds."

I kicked at the worn rug, my anger evaporating in the face of what felt like guilt. "He didn't seem to want company," I said softly.

"That is not what he said," Jean-Claude reminded me. "Ma petite, I will speak frankly. I know you are upset and worried, and rightly so." He let out a soft sigh. "In our lives, true comfort for comfort's sake is rare. I do not suggest this for any reason other than for Jason's sake, and your own."

I wanted to argue, about how crazy it would be to let my guard down in this place, about going to Jason when the man was still upset. But I was cold and scared, and even though I knew Jean-Claude was probably manipulating me, I was too tired to argue.

"Only if Jason wants it," I warned Jean-Claude. "If he wants to be alone, I'm going to sit on that bed until he's done."

"Of course, ma petite." Jean-Claude drew back in my mind, taking away the images of him stroking Nathaniel's hair. I felt oddly bereft, alone without the two of them. It was ridiculous. Jason was less than twenty feet away from me in the shower. I didn't have to be alone.

I didn't go in right away. I first turned the metal key in the hall door lock, and shoved a chair under the handle. It may not stand up to magic, but at least I'd hear someone trying to get into the room.

The wood of the bathroom door was hard and echoing under my knuckles. After a moment, I heard Jason's voice rise up over the patter of the water in the shower. "What?"

I cracked the door open a crack, steam billowing out around me. "Can I come in?" I asked, hoping he didn't hear the waver in my voice.

"What's wrong?" he asked. He poked his head out of the shower to stare at me. "What happened?"

"Nothing happened." I slipped into the room and closed the door behind me. "I just... I mean, I wanted to make sure you were okay."

He blinked at me. "I'm fine."

"Good." I crossed my arms over my chest, wishing with all my might that Jean-Claude had never interfered, that I'd just stayed out in the room. "Good," I repeated.

He gave me a wan smile, hardly a Jason smile at all. "But I wouldn't say no to some company," he said. It was exactly what I'd expect Jason to say in this situation, but it sounded forced. Like he was also trying to act normally, but couldn't quite get the motions down.

"Really?"

His smile vanished, leaving him looking very young. "Yes, really," he said after a minute.

I breathed in the steamy air, scented with the smell of soap. "As long as there's room for the two of us."

Jason grinned suddenly. "We'll make room." He ducked back into the shower before I could think of a response.

I stripped out of my clothes, leaving them on a pile on the floor. The gun I left on a towel on the edge to the sink near the shower, where I could grab it easily. Before I stepped into the shower, I pulled an elastic band out of my jeans and tied my hair back, in what I was sure would be a futile attempt to keep it dry.

Naked and more than a little uncertain, I stepped into the rather large shower stall. There was no curtain, just a little stone step to keep the water from spilling out across the floor. Jason stood under the water spray coming from the old-fashioned shower head. His skin was already slightly pink from the water's heat. "Hey," I said, unreasonably nervous. Jason watched me very carefully. "There's soap in here, right?"

Jason nodded. "The water's fine, too." He held out his hands to me.

Feeling awkward, I took his hands and let him draw me into the water's spray. The water hit my skin, warm and soft, but Jason kept backing up, pulling me with him, until I was directly under the spray.

Jason's eyes were wide as he stared at me, silent for once in his life. I let out a shaky breath. We were so close, but not touching. Not yet.

"Do you want some soap?" he asked.

This close to Jason, wet and naked, I wasn't thinking about soap. "I'm fine," I murmured, closing the distance between us. I put my hands on his waist and kissed him.

We had been lovers in the past, but not enough for kissing him to feel familiar. The water from the shower poured over us, giving the illusion of safety in the steam. Jason slid his hands around my waist, pulling me against him as he kissed me back, softly at first but with increasing intensity. I shifted in his arms and a shiver ran down my spine, in spite of the shower's heat.

Jason pulled back from the kiss, never letting go of me. "What?" he asked, his eyes searching my face. "Is everything okay? Harry's okay?"

I nodded. "He's probably not going to be back for a while." I tightened my arms around Jason's back. "I bolted the door in the other room. We're going to be fine."

Jason looked down. In another man, I'd have thought he didn't want to meet my eyes, but in Jason, I took it as an excuse for him to stare at my breasts. "I know we're going to be fine," he whispered, nipping the side of my neck. I bit back a moan. "You're here."

"I never took you for an optimist," I said, but the throaty quality of my voice took away the annoyance.

"I'm not an optimist," Jason breathed. "I'm a realist." His lips traveled down my shoulder while he slid his hands down my waist. His lips moved back to my throat and I wasn't sure what to do. Yes, I'd come into the bathroom with all the intentions in the world of doing this, but we were going too fast. I couldn't think about the things I should have been, about Harry and us staying safe. All that came to mind were memories: The first time I had sex with Micah in the shower of the lycanthrope hospital in St. Louis; Jason huddled in the shower after rotting vampires had oozed all over him; of Jason slashed up, bleeding, on the cold stone floor.

"Shh, ma petite," Jean-Claude breathed in my mind. "It is all going to be all right, you and Jason are safe."

My hands clutched at Jason's shoulders. He pulled back slightly, holding me in the cradle of his arms, secure under the pounding spray of the water.

"Is something wrong?" he asked, voice low and rough and edged with the rumble of a wolf's growl. I couldn't say yes, because nothing was wrong, but I also couldn't say no.

"Stop thinking, ma petite." I felt Jean-Claude's voice slip over me like a soothing hand on my skin. My eyes closed involuntarily. "Start feeling."

The panic subsided a bit, but not enough.

"Feel Jason, ma petite." Jean-Claude guided my hands down Jason's muscular arms. The soap and the water made his skin slick under my touch. "Feel the life within him." Jason moved his arms, drawing me close once again.

I rested my head on Jason's shoulder and tried to relax. Unsurprisingly, it didn't seem to work.

"Feel his heartbeat, ma petite," Jean-Claude whispered. "Feel the warmth of his body against yours, the rush of the blood in his veins."

I moved my lips to Jason's throat. The steam and the water had warmed his skin above the lycanthropic almost-fever. Any normal person would be over-heating. But I wasn't normal. The closeness to Jason, his animal heat, spoke to something deep inside me, something not so different than Jason.

My senses heightened, I brushed the faint pulse in Jason's with my lips, then my tongue. He shuddered against me. I had brief urge to bite down, to follow that pulse deeper.

Something fluttered in my head, and belatedly I realized that the impulse wasn't mine, but Jean-Claude's. Jean-Claude moved back, but the shift was reluctant.

I kissed up Jason's neck to his jaw, his cheek, at the same time as I slid my arms around Jason's shoulders. He took it as invitation and pressed his body against mine.

As Jason kissed me, and I kissed him back, the noise in my head went away. Across distant oceans, Jean-Claude was with me, as was Nathaniel, but I didn't push them away. I couldn't push them away. They were a part of me, tied to me by bonds of power and blood. If they were with me as I was with Jason, they would embrace it, as would Jason.

Today, I pushed away all the years of solitude and the way things should have been, and let myself sink into what I did have.

And what I did have, I would do anything to protect.

Anything.

end preview