FIC: Demons, Eh? (Supernatural) (PG-13)

[mhalachai]

And if this isn't bad enough, I've got an idea for an X-Men/SGA fic in which John's strong ATA gene is an unexpressed Mutant X gene. Woez for John.

K, onto the crack!fic.




Demons, Eh?
A Supernatural story
by mhalachaiswords

Summary: What could John have possibly said to Dean, about Sam? An examination in one part.
Disclaimer: Supernatural belongs to Kripke, the CW and those nice folks. No profit has been made from this fic.
Characters: Sam, Dean
Genre: Gen, humour, episode tag
Rating: PG-13 for swearing
Words: 540
Spoilers: Set immediately after 2x09, "Croatoan". Contains spoilers for that scene at the very end. There are NO spoilers from anything beyond this episode. I'm making all this up, and I will bet you cash money that it doesn't happen this way.
Note: I am officially insane. First three lines of text from the show.

Also, ever notice how very pointy Dean's hair is?

~~~~~~

"What are you talking about?"

Dean looked down at the ground, not anywhere near Sam. "Right before Dad died, he told me something. He told me something about you."

"What?" Sam demanded in that fragile puppy dog voice. "Dean, what did he tell you?"

Dean let out a breath. Fuck, he couldn't do this. "I told you, man, I can't--"

"Damn it, Dean!" Sam flung his arms wide. "This is me we're talking about! What did Dad tell you?"

Dean shook his head. Not able to look at Sam, he rested his arms on the railing and wished that Dad had never whispered the little fact about Sammy into his ear. "It's... uh..." He stopped, cleared his throat. "I mean, it's not like it's your fault, Sam. You were born this way."

"Born what way?"

"It's the reason the demon's after you, Sam. It's... You're..." Dean stopped, wondered how he could ever say this out loud. May as well just rip that bandage off.

"Dean?"

"You're Canadian."

For once in his life, Sam was utterly and completely silent. Then...

"Dude, I'm not Canadian."

"The first stage of grief is always denial," Dean said.

"That's not fucking funny!" Sam exclaimed. "What the fuck are you smoking? I'm not Canadian."

"You are." Dean pushed away from the railing. "Dad never told us... I guess we were on a vacation up in Ontario. Mom wasn't due for another month, but you came early. You were born at the Niagara Falls hospital. That makes you Canadian."

Sam made a strangled noise. "What possible fucking difference would that make?"

Dean shrugged. "Didn't you ever wonder about it, Sam? Why you like flannel? Why you're so goddamned nice? You help little old ladies across the street! You're like Dudley Do-Right, man!"

Sam shook his head, backing up. "That's the craziest thing I've ever heard."

"All the kids, the ones like you. They're Canadian too," Dean pressed. "I checked, birth records, citizenship records. Every one of those kids was Canadian."

Sam kept on backing up. "that doesn't make any sense! You know what's full of Canadian kids, Dean? Canada! Why doesn't he just go there? How do you even know this isn't something insane?"

"Because there's something else that Dad told me." Dean couldn't look at his brother, his tall, broken, Canadian brother. "It's about the Demon."

"What about it, Dean?" Sam demanded. "Did Dad know its name? How to kill it?"

"He told me its name."

Sam waited, so impatient.

"It's..." Dean took a deep breath. "Do you remember how when you were fourteen, you snuck out to see Titanic? Dad was so mad." Dean smiled a little in remembrance. "Then you ended up buying the soundtrack and all those girly ballads?"

"So what?" Sam asked, embarrassed now at his youthful uncoolness. "What does this..." Realization dawned on him, and he sputtered to a stop.

"Yeah," Dean said. "This thing the Demon has with burning people on the ceiling, the Canadian thing... It's the Celine Demon, Sam."

"No," Sam breathed, horrified.

"Yeah."

Oh, god," Sam choked out, falling against the wooden railing. "Not that."

"I'm sorry, Sam." Dean said, meaning every word.

"I didn't know," Sam whispered, putting his face in his hands. "I didn't know."

"I know, man." Dean put his hand on his brother's shoulder. "Just let it all out."

thank god the end

PS: I like Celine Dion, I really do. I will admit to having some of her CDs, and I can sing all the words to "My Heart Will Go On". For an explanation of the Celine Demon thing, go here.

Comments

[alydhe.livejournal.com]

ACK! You have to write that crossover! Mutant!Jack is the best crack. ^___^

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

Mutant anyone is awesome, I agree :)