FIC: Beside (Stargate Atlantis fic)

[mhalachai]

Beside
A Stargate Atlantis fanfic

Summary: John Sheppard never pretended to be a hero, and it's not his fault if Teyla thought he was.
Characters: John Sheppard and Teyla (if you turn your head twenty-one degrees sideways and squint, it might look a bit shippy)
Disclaimer: Sony and MGM own all things Stargate Atlantis. I'm only borrowing and will return them at the end of the fic.
Setting: Set during season one's "Letters From Pegasus", while Sheppard and Teyla are out on their scouting mission of the Wraith Armada headed toward Atlantis. Begins while flying toward the planet, just before the Wraith open their wormhole, then later while waiting on the planet for Orin's family.
Author's Note: I'm making things up about Sheppard's past from rumors on the internet, so if I'm wrong about some key facts in here, let me know. Also, my first venture into SGA fic, so if you have comments on any of it, please make them but please don't crush my fragile spirit plzthnx. *iz nervous*
Word count:: 410

~*~

Sheppard really wishes Teyla would stop looking at him like that. Like he just shot her puppy and told her there was no God.

This wasn't supposed to be a rescue mission, damn it. He can't risk going back for her friends, can't save everyone... hell, he's starting to think he can't save anyone.

There she goes again, looking at him sideways, her face blank but her glare accusing. It's not like he ever lied to her about his job, what kind of man he is. She worries about one family that might be taken by the Wraith; he worries about getting the intel on the Wraith back to Atlantis to save everyone there.

Somehow, he knows what she's doing. She's wondering if he's the man she thought he was, if she can trust him any longer. He never asked her to put him up on some pedestal.

Funny, though, how much that fall can hurt.

~~~

"What else do you want from me?"

"Too much, I fear."

He hates how her voice can be so lovely when she's driving a knife into his heart. He's tried to save everyone before. It didn't work, everyone fucking died anyway, on that dusty Afghanistan road.

Now, he can't make any promises to save her friends here; but he has to get this information back to Atlantis. He's got people to save there. Why can't she see that?

~~~

He can't do this. He can't sit, protected, in the hidden Puddlejumper, not raising a damned finger while the Wraith are taking people. He doesn't know these folks, but every time a Wraith Dart aims its beam at the ground, taking up more people to the ships, taken up to their deaths, his fingers tighten on his P-90.

"There is nothing we can do."

Stop agreeing with me! Sheppard wants to scream, to shock her out of it. He's never heard tears in her voice before, and it's freaking him the hell out. She's supposed to be the strong leader, with the sticks and the glare that can melt steel and the determination to never back down.

If Teyla's falling apart, it's worse than he wants to know.

~~~

He's got a Puddlejumper full of people, a sky full of Wraith Darts, and very little time to get to the Stargate to save all their asses. But no pressure.

At least Teyla's in the chair at his side again. It's not much, but sometimes, a little has to be enough.

the end

Comments

[laney-1974.livejournal.com]

I really, really enjoyed this. I never really liked this particular scene in the show itself because I just couldn't see why John was so against saving Teyla's friends (Logically, I knew why but it just didn't feel quite in character to what we had seen - that and I was half asleep watching it). This ficlet gives me a bit more of an insight as to what was going through Shepp's mind.

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

Thanks. That scene has been hammering at my head for a few days, ever since I watched Letters from Pegasus. The realtionship between Sheppard and Teyla's a bit hard for me to figure out. It's not against regulations, as is the Carter and O'Neill relationship, so it needs to build on the working relationship between those two. Both are leaders, but from very different backgrounds. Having their different ethics and emotioanl backgrounds play togeher and conflict (as in Letter from Pegasus) is the facinating part.

[jaydeyn-sitari.livejournal.com]

*sigh* how do you do that? I am completely jealous of your ability to get into character's heads and ... become them. Because hey, that's Sheppard. At least it's the Shep I see.

And also? Teyla! You've got her down perfectly here. Strong and capable and so frustrated with him at this point. Love the glare that can melt steel line. Absolutely. (May have a wee girl-crush on Teyla).

Lovely, m'dear!
:)
Jaydeyn

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

*sigh* how do you do that? I am completely jealous of your ability to get into character's heads and ... become them.
That's why I love the characters in this show, they are written and acted so beautifully. It's easy to get a handle on the characters when they feel so real.

And also? Teyla! You've got her down perfectly here. Strong and capable and so frustrated with him at this point. Love the glare that can melt steel line. Absolutely. (May have a wee girl-crush on Teyla).

I think that part of the reason with these two is that I love the anti-hero in John Sheppard. He's just such a goofball. Plus, I also have a bit of a girl crush on Teyla as well. I always do this with the kick-ass girls (Buffy, Faith, River, etc).

[slythhearted.livejournal.com]

Wheee! Oh happy day, you've been bitten by the SGA bug. Now don't try and fight it, just relax and enjoy the ride : )

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

Wheee! Oh happy day, you've been bitten by the SGA bug. Now don't try and fight it, just relax and enjoy the ride : )
Yeah, it's a fun fandom. The characters are so real, and failble, and trying to do wht right thing. It hits all my fairy tale/hero buttons.

[lishel_fracrium.livejournal.com]

*applauds* don't be nervous. that was brilliant and I hope that you write more. I loved this,thank you.

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

don't be nervous. that was brilliant and I hope that you write more.

Thanks :) I'm always nervous when I put out my first fandom fic. I try to start small :)

[shusu.livejournal.com]

*waves* This is awesome. It's why Letters from Pegasus was never a filler show for me, because here's John warring with his emotions and his tactical training, and Teyla at his side pushing him. Great John voice too.

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

It's why Letters from Pegasus was never a filler show for me, because here's John warring with his emotions and his tactical training, and Teyla at his side pushing him. Great John voice too.

Thanks :) I liked Letters, it gave a great background to all the characters in a non-action way. Plus Sheppard and Teyla action (in a non eyebrow raising way, of course)

Eeeeeeeek!

[(Anonymous)]

This is great. In "letters from pegasus" there are so many lines to read between, and so many gaps to fill. [Thalia cackles in writerly glee]

Everything I though you could do and more!

Re: Eeeeeeeek!

[thaliagreene.livejournal.com]

It would have been a good idea to login for the the above. But I should also say SGA is so infectious, isn't it?

Re: Eeeeeeeek!

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

In "letters from pegasus" there are so many lines to read between, and so many gaps to fill.
Oh yes. I love this about that episode in particular. The time breaks in the Sheppard/Teyla scenes was fun to fill in.

And yes, it's addictive! I watched all of season one in a week and now I want more! At least I only have one more season to watch at this point.

[shadowartemis.livejournal.com]

*love* Stargate Atlantis is my second favorite fandom ever, right after SG-1. I really love the way you captured John's emotions and this is pretty spot on to how I imagined him feeling throughout that episode. Your first venturing went very well. I applaud you. ^_^ Oh, if you ever want to check your information or anything or just keep up to date on the happenings, gateworld.net is a great place to go.

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

What I was wondering about regarding John was what exactly happened in Afghanistan, that caused him to get that rap on his record. When in doubt, be vague and all that, right? Right.

I can't help but think that I want to write more SGA fic. This is a bad thing, what with all the other stiuff I have to do. So much fanfic to write!

[plsteward.livejournal.com]

Welcome to the fandom... You know you'll never get anything done b/c there are a ton of great SGA writers out there (the ranks of which you've just joined.)

Well, about the fic. Loved. Really. It's hard for me to get into Shep's funky haired head, but you've got in & out & made us a fic. The characterizations were spot on & I want more in this vein.

Well, off to read cracky McShep AU's... & I'm not going to be able to get any more work done today (darn you.)

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

Hee. I had to watch the whole season to get a handle on Sheppard. Teyla's a little easier to understand, but Shepp? A crazy man. We'll see if I can get the crack SGA fic idea out of my head and get to some good stuff. Do you know of any good archives of SGA fic?

[plsteward.livejournal.com]

http://fictionresource.com/mcshep/fic_index.php?cat_id=00008&list_id=00001

This is my fave rec listing of SGA fics, everything is catagorized and I've never came across a bad fic that wasn't meant to be a bad fic.

[jaydeyn-sitari.livejournal.com]

Ok, thanks a whole bunch. Just spent hours reading on that site *g* now I can't leave!

(That was a very large thank you for the rec btw :)

:)
Jaydeyn

[(Anonymous)]

oportunemoments here. hi. you're my hero. but right now I have to go finish watching the Stargate Atlantis marathon that's on.

by the way, that ruled. ::hugs:: ^_^ ::runs away::

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

Glad you liked it. And I hope you enjoyed that marathon, I had something similiar here on DVD last week. Oh, one delicious year compressed into 7 nights of geeky fun.

[iamabee-buzz.livejournal.com]

This is just exactly the kind of thing I imagined going through Sheppard's head during that scene...and I kinda wanted to smack Teyla upside the head. Though, to be fair, I've never liked her all that much.

Is it really pathetic that this almost made me cry? *bighugsforJohn*
*sniff*

Two thumbs up from me!

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

Not pathetic at all! (If your tears were for the characterization and not the butchering of the langauge :P) I like to make my readers cry... for the good reasons.

Glad you liked it! I love new fandoms, especially filmed in Vancouver fandoms.

[shallanelprin.livejournal.com]

I don't know how you do it - you just crawl inside the character's heads and make us all understand them better. Great fic.

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

With well-formed characters, I can write almost anything. Shepp fits into that category :)

[m00nbrain.livejournal.com]

If Teyla's falling apart, it's worse than he wants to know

Best Shep thought line ever. Thank you for this.

I was wondering if you minded if I recc this is my own journal and added it to the next edition of the jt_newsletter

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

You're quite welcome! I find myself falling more and more into the Shepp/Teyla ship the more I watch of season 2 :)

Feel free to link away! I always love having my fics out there.

[m00nbrain.livejournal.com]

Thanks, glad to have found this wonderful piece and a new John/Teyla fan. Hope to see more of your writing :)

[goddess09807.livejournal.com]

Damn Girl! I really, really love this and I think you have the character voices down. Ist there going to be a sequel? ;P You know you want to.

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

Maybe not a sequel, but maybe a step later in time. A look inside the heads of the characters. Consdiering that I just watched Conversion last night, there may be more upcoming :D

[madjm.livejournal.com]

Love this! LFP is one of my fave Atlantis episodes, mostly for the Shep/Teyla conflict. I'm always glad to see some new fic about my fave couple, too. Really well done. Hope to see more from you.

:)

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

Thanks :) I will probably write more. This is a fun fandom, and I've only been around it for a few weeks.