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Summary: Natasha Romanoff tries to reconnect with her son. This is understandably easier said than done.
Rating: PG-13
Setting: Starts in 2002 and goes through the end of Stargate Atlantis; before the Avengers and Iron Man 2.
Characters: Natasha Romanoff, John Sheppard. Guest appearances by Clint Barton, Phil Coulson, various Stargate characters in later chapters.
Relationships: Background Natasha/Clint in later chapters.
Warnings: Family secrets. Truly epic levels of swearing.
Notes: This chapter explores what happens when John gets transfered in disgrace from Afghanistan to Fort McMurdo in the Antarctic. We don't have any conclusive evidence when this happened (to the best of my researchability) so I'm pegging it here; you'll see why tomorrow. Major beta thanks to
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These chapters do get longer soon, I promise.
Follows Widow's Weeds, Widow's Flight, Widow's Son.
<< Part Two
July 3, 2003
Hey. So, you'll probably hear about this anyway if Coulson has my file bugged like the crafty bastard he is. I've got some news - transferring out of Afghanistan. I'll give you a hint where I'm going:
[PENGUINS.JPG]
That's right, an all-expenses paid trip to McMurdro Base in the Antarctic. It's the only continent I haven't been to. Party.
j
July 10, 2003
Fuck, McMurdo is boring. And fucking cold and fucking stupid and I really shouldn't be saying fuck so much to a lady. Sorry.
I just... fuck. My life is going to shit and I can't say I'd have done anything else.
I went out after a buddy, Mike. He was left behind and they told me I couldn't go, and I did anyway. He died, I was there when he died, and I couldn't stop it.
They gave me a choice, this stupid posting in Antarctica, or a less-than-honorable out. I thought at least this way, there was some hope.
But it's so fucking quiet I think I'm going to lose my mind.
Maybe that was the plan. Get me to bounce on a section 8.
July 15, 2003.
So here we go again, you being undercover and me being chatty.
I told dad about what happened with my transfer. Well, I emailed him and he got his secretary to bitch me out. I really have missed those special little talks he and I don't have.
But I don't want to talk to you about him. There's the stuff.
This place sucks. I fly aircraft for science missions. You know what's interesting about science missions in Antarctica?
Absolutely nothing.
I remember when I was a kid, I wanted to go out searching for Captain America's plane, although that was in the Arctic. I thought it would be cool to find it? But jesus, all the bodies in planes I've found in the last few years, what the fuck was I thinking?
I hope you're okay. You can delete all these emails, they don't mean anything. I'm just fucking pissed off. And it's my own damn fault.
If I'd left earlier, Mike might still be alive.
July 18, 2003
Penguins are some fucked up little buggers.
Someone left a copy of War and Peace here. I've been so bored I've started reading it. You Russians are messed up.
(Still) Major J
July 20, 2003
Hey Major Sheppard. This is Agent Barton, I work with Agent Romanoff. She's out in the back forty for a while and she wanted me to let you know that "she's fine" and "she'll talk to you when she can" and stuff. If you emailed her in the last month she hasn't seen it yet (and another thing she wanted you to know - Coulson knows better than to read her email).
If you want me to sneak her any secret messages let me know.
-Barton
July 22, 2003
Thank you for your message, Agent Barton. Nothing to pass along.
John Sheppard, Maj.
Aug. 10, 2003
John,
I am back in civilization, if one can call it that. Operation successful.
I am sorry about your friend.
Would you rather be back in Afghanistan?
If you are looking to expand your literary background, read the works of Dostoyevsky.
I am not sure what to say about your transfer. Are you adjusting?
N.
Aug. 13, 2003
I'm not sure that Dostoyevsky would do much for my mental state. It's like the rest of this place, bleak. Have you ever been to Siberia? I think this place is worse.
Whatever. I think they sent me here because they couldn't justify booting me out, with the rest of my record. If I hand in my resignation now, they win, and I'm not going to let them win because I didn't do anything fucking wrong. If I'd gone after Mike and brought him back alive, they'd have given me a medal.
So yeah. I'm going to wait the bastards out. At least penguins are a hundred times less likely to kill me in my sleep than Al Quaeda or the Taliban.
Guess I'll see you Stateside when I crack up.
xoxox john
end part three