FIClette: Inevitable -- Like Dying

[mhalachai]

I'm trying something new. A ficlette from the Inevitable universe, from Nathaniel. Enjoy, comment, all that jazz.

An Inevitable Missing Scene: Like Dying
by Mhalachai
Note: Takes place in chapter 21 of Inevitable, right after Anita tells Nathaniel to leave. Nathaniel's thoughts.
Disclaimer: Laurell K. Hamilton owns all things Anita Blake. J.K. Rowling owns all things Harry Potter. I am but borrowing the characters for a brief time and shall return them intact at the end.

~*~*~
It felt like dying.

This had to be what dying was like, Nathaniel thought as he stumbled toward the stairs. Not like having swords shoved clear through your body or being raped after being gutted, or anything he'd felt before. Anita had told him to leave, get out of her life, and now his life was over.

Slamming open the door to Harry's room didn't make the pain go away. Nothing would. Didn't Anita know he'd do anything for her? Hadn't she seen how much he loved her?

What had he done to make her do this? Even when they were only sharing the bed, her feeding the ardeur but not letting him reach satisfaction, it was still okay, because it was a test and because she let him stay. He was helping her.

Why couldn't he help her now?

He wouldn't cry, would not fucking break down like that. He'd learned very early on that tears only let them know you were broken, and they'd break you more. Not that it mattered anymore. Without Anita, he didn't have any reason to care.

Nathaniel began yanking boxes of his stuff open, pulling out things he never thought he'd need again. A knapsack, his stash of emergency cash. His client book.

His fingers shook as he opened the book. In it were the names of the clients Gabriel had lined up for him, back when Gabriel was pimping him out. Details, like who paid the best and what they wanted. It paid so much better than working at the club. Nathaniel had stopped taking clients because Anita wanted him to stop, but now that Anita had basically banished him, what was there to stop him from taking up his old job? His body could take more damage now, because of the triumvirate. The ones who hurt you more paid better, to make up for the very real chance they would kill him.

Not that it mattered if they did, anymore.

But Nathaniel remembered what happened the last time that he had gone with people without telling Anita. Chimera's goons had almost killed him, but worse than that, they had very nearly killed Anita.

Even though she'd told him to leave, get out of her life, Nathaniel somehow knew that if he was in trouble, she'd come to his rescue. She'd never leave him to die, if she could help it. No matter what he did, or what she wanted, Anita would save him.

He put the book back in the box.

---

Another Inevitable related thing. A new visitor to the blog has posed a question in the last post about the AB characterization in Inevitable and in beren_writes's Black Magic by Moonlight. Feel free to mosey on by and add a comment. Also, please be honest. If you have something to say about Inevitable, say it. How else will I learn and grow as a writer? (<--not me being goofy or anything). The thread.

---

Lastly, if you posted in the past few days, I'm still playing catch up with my replies. I'm referring to the past two AB related posts.

Comments

[samira-86.livejournal.com]

Aww poor Nathaniel. I imagined him feeling something like that when Anita told him to leave. I'm just glad he didn't actually leave although then he got stabbed, oh well at least he didn't die hehe. In my opinion your characters are exactly the way they are in the books, I mean they are dead on. (That's one of the many reasons this is my favorite piece of fan fiction and why you're my favorite fan fic author.) When I read your stories I can totally see every character reacting, saying, doing whatever you have them doing. But there is one exception to what I just said, I'm not sure if Dumbledore would've acted like that. I'm not sure how to phrase it right, but I guess your version of Dumbledore was meaner(not the right word but can't think of another at the moment) well maybe argumentative? I don't know what I'm trying to say. I just couldn't see Dumbledore acting like that in the books. Anyway I was wondering if you have ever written a fic from Jean Claude's point of view other than Ma petite ange de la morte which I loved by the way. If not, I would love to see one =p Did you ever consider being an author?

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

I'm actually a reporter in my real life, and I think that explains why I can churn stuff out so bloody fast.

No other JC fics, not yet. Maybe another Inevitable short from his POV in the future.

Dumbledore is the hardest charcter to write, I think, because we cannot understand his motivation. He's such a mystery, and hard to do justice to. We'll see more of him in the next chapter, so let's see if I can make him right.

[laney-1974.livejournal.com]

I finally finished reading all of Inevitable on the weekend and I have to say I absolutely loved it. I've been looking for updates every day since I finished it. Wonderful and unique story. I'm absolutely addicted to it.

Now, on the discussion of charactersations, I'd say that your characterisation are one of the best ones I've seen. The only exception to this is Richard. I felt his desire for Harry to be the vagamour after the first meeting is a little rushed. To be fair, I haven't read ID and have no desire too, but I really can't imagine Richard suggesting that to someone he infected the day after - most especially a 17 year old boy. Most especially when he knows nothing about him or what kind of person he is. I can see why he'd want it, in his desperation to get rid of Anita, but the timing of it felt off to me.

Ooops

[laney-1974.livejournal.com]

I meant to post my previous post to the original thread but I think I may have replied to a comment accidentally. sorry

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

Thanks so much! I post every update on here, so if you check your friends list as compulsivly as I do, you'll see any updates when they are up :)

I see your points about Richard.... it seemed to make sense to me at the time, you know? That in the heat of his Xtreme Guilt (tm), he'd try and make something work. Anyway, he's got Sylvie on it now, and she's sure as hell going to keep him from doing anything rash.

And thanks for reminding me of another thing I needed to put into the next chapter. This thing is going to be horrendous.

[laney-1974.livejournal.com]

it seemed to make sense to me at the time, you know?

I know exactly what you mean. I have many of those moments in fics.

I post every update on here, so if you check your friends list as compulsivly as I do, you'll see any updates when they are up <\i>

Wonderful. This is my favourite story. When I get time on the weekend, I'm going to check out your others. Is this your only HP/AB? I think it works better than HP/BTVS fandoms.

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

This is my only AB/HP of any length. I have several shorts, some in the IN universe, some not. I've been meaning to make another master list of those fics. I'll probably get that done in a bit.

The other stories I've done are mostly Buffy/AB. If you have time for an epic, my Mind the Gap (http://www.tthfanfic.com/story.php?no=5606) (BtVS/AB, Dawn-centric) is probably the best place to start, if you have some spare time. Also, it's finished, so you get an ending all at once :)

Let me know what you think, if you so wish to.

[laney-1974.livejournal.com]

Thanks for the link. I'm feeling kind of tired tonight so writing isn't on the cards. A good fic will do nicely.

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

Glad to rec my fics anytime :P Hope you enjoyed it.

[houses7177.livejournal.com]

This is very true to Nathaniel's character, and his reactions to what Anita said to him. She may want him gone, but he knows she doesn't really want him back in the life he had, and she's still come running to his rescue should he need it.

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

Yeah, even when he thinks she doesn't want him, he'll still do what she wants. *pets Nathaniel* poor kid.

I'm thinking of doing some more of these, try to touch on how the incidents affected everyone. I've got a JC one in mind right now (too bad I'm at work and can't write it)

[uforeah.livejournal.com]

That is so Nate!! I love his character and you capture him so well.
Do you only write fan fic or do you have original work out? I would love to read something that is just yours, and not borrowing from other people.

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

I'm working on my original works, as a matter of fact. Slow going :) If I ever get anything out there, you can believe me when I say I'm going to let everybody know :)

[penyn-1600.livejournal.com]

Poor Nathaniel. He really does need Anita.

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

Yup. Also, she needs him. It's a whole circle of neediness :P