Interesting Inevitable comments

[mhalachai]

I've been getting some interesting Inevitable comments recently. I thought I'd share because, well, I've been so busy with RL (hence no ficcing) that I miss you guys.

1. Anita and Harry are too angsty.
They're not too bad. Right? At least it's productive angst, and they're not wallowing. I'd like to hear everyone's comments on the level of angst in Inevitable as it compared with the angst in the Anita Blake books and the Harry Potter books. Good, bad, ugly?

2. The point of view swap is confusing
I thought about this long and hard before I began to write. I think it's easier to understand, as Harry is 3rd person limited POV, while Anita is 1st person POV, than having them both be third person. There are sections when there is better effect for the person with the POV to see something that the other person is doing, without knowing their motives.

3. Harry is being too childish
I did this deliberately. Not write him as childish, but write him as a teenager. It happens more when it's Anita telling the story, because she tends to tinge everything with her own brand of special, but I didn't want to fall into the "Harry is an adult in a teenager's body" trap. That's not the story I want to tell. He's in a new world, without anything to fall back on, and yet crap keeps happening because of him. It's going to take him a while to find himself a place.

I've also been getting wonderful comments that really do cheer my day. Thanks everyone :)

(However, if you do have a comment about Inevitable, good or bad, feel free to make it. I'm always up for talking about my longest story EVAR).

Comments

[uten.livejournal.com]

1. No. People saying that are obviously reading too many "happy-happy-joy-joy" fanfics and need to brush up on the actual books.

2. Point of view swap is well done, and I find it a much better solution than what I was aiming for in my thrice-damned prologue (that will eventually be released - I was just trying to keep it in Anita's POV only. The multiple points of view work really well in your story.

3. Harry is basically a teenager in a completely new situation. And he's about to become a werewolf, quite possibly. There is also the new needs and sensations running through his body, which really have to be screwing him over mentally. In some ways, Harry is an adult, and you may be a little remiss in showing that, but in most ways, he is a scared teenager faced with a new phenomenom in the Weres who are so different from Remus - although I'm looking forward to finding out why Remus and the Throne Rock Clan are so different, shifting-wise.

Basically you are doing a great job showing the scared side of Harry, but you are only showing us glimpses of his grown up part. I'd like to see a little more of the grown up Harry, but you seem to be showing that part a little more often now as he settles down, and you are doing a good job showing it. In some ways, I think you are making Harry a little too childish in parts, given he is seventeen and has gone through almost as much - if not more - than some of the alphas, but then you give us glimpses of his adult side. So my answer would have to be yes and no, And I hope my explanation makes that make sense.

More chapters would be nice though. *cheesy grin*

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

re 3: We're getting to grown-up Harry. You know, if I had all the time in the world (sigh) I could get this done in one go, rather than spacing out over so long and growing as a writer, to the point where I want to go back and redo the entire thing. But I will move forward, not back!

More chapters... I would love to write more chapters. I think the first thing I would do if I win the lottery (well, after quit my job) would be to just sit down and write Inevitable until the bitter end. Then write the sequel.