Interesting Inevitable comments

[mhalachai]

I've been getting some interesting Inevitable comments recently. I thought I'd share because, well, I've been so busy with RL (hence no ficcing) that I miss you guys.

1. Anita and Harry are too angsty.
They're not too bad. Right? At least it's productive angst, and they're not wallowing. I'd like to hear everyone's comments on the level of angst in Inevitable as it compared with the angst in the Anita Blake books and the Harry Potter books. Good, bad, ugly?

2. The point of view swap is confusing
I thought about this long and hard before I began to write. I think it's easier to understand, as Harry is 3rd person limited POV, while Anita is 1st person POV, than having them both be third person. There are sections when there is better effect for the person with the POV to see something that the other person is doing, without knowing their motives.

3. Harry is being too childish
I did this deliberately. Not write him as childish, but write him as a teenager. It happens more when it's Anita telling the story, because she tends to tinge everything with her own brand of special, but I didn't want to fall into the "Harry is an adult in a teenager's body" trap. That's not the story I want to tell. He's in a new world, without anything to fall back on, and yet crap keeps happening because of him. It's going to take him a while to find himself a place.

I've also been getting wonderful comments that really do cheer my day. Thanks everyone :)

(However, if you do have a comment about Inevitable, good or bad, feel free to make it. I'm always up for talking about my longest story EVAR).

Comments

[houses7177.livejournal.com]

1. No. Both stories have their fair share of angst and you balance that just fine.

2. No. We're used to, as readers, seeing particular perspectives in the native 'verses. This also helps indicated a POV change so we're not confused. Or, that's the way I see it.

3. Harry is a child, more or less. He's an emotionally stunted teenager- very adult in some ways, still a child in others. I thought his level of maturity fitting.

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

re 3: as always, I'm glad the level of Harry's maturitity is coming across. The way I'm taking this is, everyone in Anita's world (with the grand excpetion of Anita, and even she's trying) treats Harry as a young adult, not a kid who is supposed to save the world. It's different than the HP world (where of all the adults, only Dumbledore really treats Harry as a young adult -- the rest treat him like a kid). I think that would help someone mature quicker.

[catherinecookmn.livejournal.com]

I strongly suspect that the persons who make these accusations are more familiar with the fanon than the canon. You're not guilty of any of them.

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

That's the thing about fanon. Most of it's written by teenagers (at least, I think it is). Teenagers know everything. It's only when you get to be at the old age of 26 (or beyond) that one realizes a) teenager don't know everything, b) you'll never know everything, and c) no one ever really grows up. I guess I'm just tired of stories where Harry's like the uber-adult at the end of 5th year.

Also, there's really no point to this comment. I swear :)

[cissasghost.livejournal.com]

1. Anita's overdue for some serious angst, given how her life has been going in canon, and was recently tortured and nearly went crazy. Harry's 17 and about to turn into a werewolf (maybe). I don't think it'd be possible to overdo the angst, actually.

2. I don't find it confusing. But then, counting all the one-off little meanwhile-back-at-the-ranch bits, I've so far written fifteen PsOV in AYG. Six of them are regulars.

3. I think Harry's apparent mental age and behavior are just fine - he's 17. Sure, he's had a lot of adult responsibility in his life, but he's also been isolated by it socially. He'd be very childish in some respects, and you're acknowledging that, and I think that's good.

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

I'm dancing on the edge of angst. A couple of times, I've had to pull Anita back from too much angst. If she was alone, I'm sure she'd fall into it, but with Nathaniel around to pull her back, she's doing okay. (Can't fall down in front of your pomme de sang... looks bad, is her reasoning)

And talking about stunted emotionally... Harry and Anita are really alike in that area. Creepy, how those two are alike.

[catherinecookmn.livejournal.com]

OK, Cissa, where'd you get that icon?!? ;-)

[cissasghost.livejournal.com]

Made it myself. :)

Want it? You can snitch as long as you credit.

-Sonya

[catherinecookmn.livejournal.com]

You're so sweet!

Alas, I'm too cheap to get a paid LJ account, so I can only have three icons at a time. But thank you for you gracious offer.

[penyn-1600.livejournal.com]

1. Anita and Harry are too angsty.
I think that they're suffering the normal amount angst for the situation that they've been thrown into. I mean, it would be completely unrealistic if they were all blase about everything. Bad stuff and weird stuff and surprising stuff has occurred. So, nope, I don't think they're too angsty at all.

2. The point of view swap is confusing
This I disagree with. I think it fits the characters, that Harry's POV is in limited 3rd person and Anita's is in 1st person. Plus, as a reader, I like being able to read things from both very different POVs.

3. Harry is being too childish
I don't think he is. I think he's a teenager and that he's acting like a teenager. It would be too weird if he suddenly started acting like an adult without the gradually growing up part.

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

re 3: In my story, which is not HBP compliant, Harry didn't have the emergency growing-up trauma in 6th year.

Heck, at 26, I ocassionally feel (and act) like a teenager. I can't get behind the suddenly grown-up!Harry. Besides. Growing up is over-rated.

On the POV -- I think I just like to be different, really XD

[catherinecookmn.livejournal.com]

Your handling of the POVs is really the easiest way to do it, considering that you're melding together two universes with different ways of handling POV.

[penyn-1600.livejournal.com]

*grins* I like Inevitable.

[eavling.livejournal.com]

1. Even though the angst was perfect for the story, I feel a bit scared to re-read those chapters where Anita went crazy after Bellatrix's cruciatus. I feel this way, because you wrote it all too well, and I'd be bawling after every chapter again. I don't think you should change a thing. Now that that episode is over, the level of introspection and 'angst' is exactly right.

2. You're brilliant!

3. He's perfect!

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

Thanks. Your post from inspired me to go back and read IN from that point.... and yowza, so many spelling mistakes! Not even funny.

Oh well. This is why we have editors, right? *ahem*

[uten.livejournal.com]

1. No. People saying that are obviously reading too many "happy-happy-joy-joy" fanfics and need to brush up on the actual books.

2. Point of view swap is well done, and I find it a much better solution than what I was aiming for in my thrice-damned prologue (that will eventually be released - I was just trying to keep it in Anita's POV only. The multiple points of view work really well in your story.

3. Harry is basically a teenager in a completely new situation. And he's about to become a werewolf, quite possibly. There is also the new needs and sensations running through his body, which really have to be screwing him over mentally. In some ways, Harry is an adult, and you may be a little remiss in showing that, but in most ways, he is a scared teenager faced with a new phenomenom in the Weres who are so different from Remus - although I'm looking forward to finding out why Remus and the Throne Rock Clan are so different, shifting-wise.

Basically you are doing a great job showing the scared side of Harry, but you are only showing us glimpses of his grown up part. I'd like to see a little more of the grown up Harry, but you seem to be showing that part a little more often now as he settles down, and you are doing a good job showing it. In some ways, I think you are making Harry a little too childish in parts, given he is seventeen and has gone through almost as much - if not more - than some of the alphas, but then you give us glimpses of his adult side. So my answer would have to be yes and no, And I hope my explanation makes that make sense.

More chapters would be nice though. *cheesy grin*

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

re 3: We're getting to grown-up Harry. You know, if I had all the time in the world (sigh) I could get this done in one go, rather than spacing out over so long and growing as a writer, to the point where I want to go back and redo the entire thing. But I will move forward, not back!

More chapters... I would love to write more chapters. I think the first thing I would do if I win the lottery (well, after quit my job) would be to just sit down and write Inevitable until the bitter end. Then write the sequel.

[wolfseer.livejournal.com]

1. I don't think so. Given all the rot that's happened throughout their lives, I reckon they're entitled to be as angst-y as they like! As compared to their novel counterparts, they're not quite as angst-filled, and in Inevitable there's no needless angst, like Harry sulking about Cho and other minor concerns or Anita going on for ever and ever about having boyfriends.

2. Not at all. I've read fics where the authors switch POVs so often it makes your head spin, so you're relatively mild by comparison. The way you write Inevitable is perfect, it complements the story very well. I have no difficulty reading whatsoever.

3. Harry is appropriate for his age and capabilities. That is, he's very mature in some ways and in a life or death situation I'd trust him fully, but most of the domestic experience he's had is highly skewed, courtesy of the Dursleys. Verbal and mental abuse can be just as bad, if not worse, than physical abuse. From someone who knows, it takes a while to adapt into the "normal" world, and Harry would take longer because his life has never been exactly "normal" by any means. So I'm of the opinion that you're doing a fine job with Harry.

Now you've got me craving another Inevitable chapter!

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

Harry sulking about Cho and other minor concerns or Anita going on for ever and ever about having boyfriends.

Ah, The Sulk. I'm hoping that that won't play a large role in the GoF movie. Because Harry has SO much else to worry about.

2: An interesting story. One of my fave authors of all time is Agatha Christie, and in some of her stories (And Then There Were None springs to mind), you're flipping back and forth between 10 people and their POVs every couple of pages. Very confusing.

3: I suspect that JKR is keeping Harry's extremely dysfunctional upbringing to a light minimum, but I can't just leave it alone, nor can most of the good HP fic writers. By 17, with six years of Hogwarts under his belt, I think he's gotten to the point where he can deal with it, but it leaves certain marks on him. Like being amiable and agreeable, trying to show everyone he can handle himself and doesn't need anyone to look after him. In more stringent ways than most 17-year-olds.

Have you had a chance to read the new IN chapter yet?

[wolfseer.livejournal.com]

I'm in the middle of 35 right now. :)

[cgilmore.livejournal.com]

1) Harry seems to be around OotP angsty. While HBP has since suggested that's out of line, you started well before HBP and had no reason to assume a sudden, drastic angst reduction. (Assuming you even wanted to adopt the sudden angstless!Harry in the first place - a lot of people are ignoring it in fanon.) I'd say you're pretty much spot on.

I can't really comment on the Anita angst, as I'm only working my way through Burnt Offerings at the moment. It doesn't seem terribly unreasonable, all things considered.

One of the important things to keep in mind, though, is that this is happening over a period of days - there's more of an appearance of angst than there would be if these events had been spread out over months.

2) Not even remotely. Anyone who can't track POV changes probably should work on their reading skills, especially reading for comprehension. You're making the transitions *very* clear, plus they're a nice touch, given that it mirrors the writing styles of each series.

3) Once again, not at all. Some people want Harry to be far better/different than he is in canon. You're doing fine with your version, and are probably closer to canon than most. Harry is very much a teenager - it's one of the hurdles he has to overcome in canon.

The bottom line is that, with apologies to Mr. Lincoln, you can please some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but you can't please all of the people all of the time. Given that 1 & 3 are simply based on personal preference, there's not really any such absolute as "too angsty" or "too childish." #2 is a potentially valid comment on style, but it depends on your ability as a writer to pull it off. (And you pull it off quite well.)

Hmm. Finally, because I don't think I've left a chapter review in a while: Inevitable is wonderful. Every time you post a new chapter, I block out time to read it at least twice, just to make sure I absorb all the juicy little tidbits. You're doing a wonderful job with the story, and I very much look forward to reading more.

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

The more I think about angst-free Harry and all that, the more I realize that my mental picture of him is still as a 15-year-old playing at being 17. I'm working on getting over that, but poor little Daniel Radcliffe's face is in my head whenever Harry starts screaming at anyone in IN.

Although, oddly, not the rest of the time. Hrm.

You're doing a wonderful job with the story, and I very much look forward to reading more.

Thanks so much. This story, and the interaction I have with people over it, is really a wonderful thing. We'll see how it turns out ;)