Inevitable 14

[mhalachai]

Inevitable 14: That is not dashed with pain and weariness and fault; I crave the stain is up, posted and ready for your eager eyes.
At TTH
At Pomme de Sang
At Skyehawke

Please, I crave your feedback let me know what you think.

I'm starting to understand why we never see a lot of the supporting characters in LKH's fics. I've got... *counts* 16 characters on screen at one point in this monstrosity. It's unpleasant. You end up having people stay silent a lot, which seldom happens in real life. Gah.

Other thoughts... I'm not sure what to do with Micah. I've got this thing that I'll probably never explore in fic, that of all the people in Anita's life, Richard is the one that will make Micah jealous. Everyone else... Nathaniel's a sub, Damian's Anita's property, JC's the Master, and Asher belong to JC. Micah can deal with them all, but Richard's a new category. He's an alpha male, who has demonstrated himself hard-put to share Anita's affections. It is in this mindset that I write In.14.

Those who are wondering about Anita's mental state.... all I can say it, keep wondering.

Comments

[mhalachaiswords.livejournal.com]

Excellent update!
*beams* thanks!

"absolute pants"

That phrase... I'm still in love with it. So Harry and so very British.

I find Anita's behavior to be spot on, she rarely cares about her own injuries in light of others.

And more so in this case, when she's convinced that she's the reason everyone's hurt. More so with Nate, but Jamil to a certain extent. Poor girl.

So often she's portrayed as almost impervious to pain and it's nice that something broke through that.
Do you mean in fic or the books?

I think the last line at the end of the previous chapter, her staring at Harry, was very telling.

You, my dear, have caught my very subtle attempt at foreshadowing of a sort :P. Stay tuned

[taligator.livejournal.com]

I think in the books, she gets hurt but it's normal kinds of hurt. It's not something that shakes her to the core and I think the cruciatus did that, it really tore into her in more ways than one. There's more out there than she knows - it's almost like how she responded to the Mother, something much much greater than her. Make sense?

Yay for foreshadowing!